Love Will Remember ❄︎ Camren

Chapter Thirty Nine: The Wedding

Some of us have experienced heartbreak in the most agonising way possible. The ache in your chest may be new or it may still be there after months or even years.

Now you're questioning yourself.

Why weren't you good enough? What could you have done to make them stay? Maybe if you loved them a bit harder, they would've realised something. That maybe you wanted them with every fibre of your being. That maybe if you went out with them a bit more, that things would've worked out. Maybe if you did things they liked, they would've changed their minds.

So you sit there, in the shower, crying. Wondering what went wrong. Why didn't they love you the way they claimed they did? Why didn't they choose you, when all you would've done was choose them in a heartbeat. Over and over again. Maybe your vision was clouded for a moment, but you knew deep down that you wanted them.

You just wanted them to try. To want you as much as you wanted them.

Loving too much always kills you. It rips you apart and messes up your mind. It leaves you wide awake at 3 in the morning wishing you never had any feelings.

But yet, you still find yourself loving them even though you don't want to.

You yearn for their touch. You long to feel their lips against yours and your tongues to brush together. You want to fall asleep next to them, you want the intertwined limbs, the sound of their heartbeat that metaphorically only beats for you.

You want the pointless bickering, the long walks, the late night phone calls, the good morning texts, the cute pictures, and whatever else there is.

But mostly, you want them.

And it hurts to the point that you don't want love to come knocking on your door anymore. You don't want to even hear the word love because love is just an illusion, right? That's fine. It's okay to protect your heart. It's okay to not want to let someone in.

But maybe, you weren't only just the innocent party.

What if you didn't let them try? What if they wanted to try and you shut them down? On purpose or not.

It's over now, and you can't help but wonder, will everything be okay? Will I be okay? Will we find our way back to each other?

Who really knows?

The cliche saying, "if it's meant to be, it'll find it's way back to you." We all will have our opinion on that saying. Some may say, if it's meant to be, it'll never go away in the first place. And some, may think that it's not the time to be together just yet.

Again, who really knows?

But, this is cryptic enough, it is a wedding chapter after all. Let's get into the lovey dovey heart-wrenching bullshit.

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate then when I fall asleep your eyes close." These are the infamous words of Pablo Neruda. How many of you would kill to hear those three little words?

Love recognises no barriers. It knows not of race, social class, distance and many other 'issues' that people are so quick to point out.

Do you ever have that feeling of connection? Knowing that someone; your significant other, whoever it may be, was out there somewhere thinking about you the same time you were thinking about them? It's difficult to imagine your life without them, because they have such a hold over you.