Fanciful Angst (Prinxiety Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-One: What Am I To You?

*Anxiety's POV*

I swallowed the lump in my throat, my fingers shaking as they reached up for the stuffed cat on my dresser. I looked at it's white eyes and felt a pit in my stomach. I snatched my hand away, almost as if commanded to.

I sat down on my bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I've been stalling for too long. It's been two weeks since I agreed to move in with Prince and I've been putting off officially moving in for way too long.

I don't want him to think I'm stalling or that I don't want to move in with him, I do, I'm just... anxious about the whole idea. This is a huge commitment for me and I don't exactly know what the protocol is here. I sighed and flopped back on my disarranged pillows with a grunt.

Why was this so hard? I'm being offered my happiness on a silver platter and I'm still not reaching out for it.

Come on, Anxiety, you know what to do to make yourself happy. You fill up that stupid box and you march right into Prince's room and you be with the guy you love. It's not that complicated.

My heartbeat started to quicken as I thought about all the possible ways this could go wrong. I also began to stress out about disappointing Prince if I backed out. My thoughts were just piling up one by one and I nearly threw up when they all became too much.

I shook my head and I knew this much thinking wasn't good for me. I should just try to relax and enjoy my life without second guessing every single decision I make. Why was this so complicated for me?

I rolled over and started plucking at a loose thread on my black bed sheets. I suppose now these will change to red and gold. I shifted uneasily at the thought of changing me entire room aesthetic. Black was my happy color, it's what felt the most like me. I don't know if I was ready for blinding golds, unforgiving reds and plain white. Things are changing and I don't know how I feel... They're changing... evolving...mutating...

*Thomas' POV*

"Things are changing!" I enthusiastically announced to my team of traits. "Evolving," I added, with significantly less gusto. "Mutuating..." I murmured, my inner uneasiness being revealed to the others. I don't know why but, suddenly I was struck with this feeling of dread- this horrifying notion that nothing in my life stays constant.

The guys attempted to put me at ease, but nothing felt right. I felt my stomach twisting into knots, my throat went dry and my chest tightened up. I felt downright... anxious.

"Wait." My darker trait ordered.

Ah, speak of the devil. Right on time, Anxiety, for our regularly scheduled existential crisis.

Why was he even here? I wondered. There was no reason for him to be. Sure, I felt a little... discomforted by all the facets of my life that were changing, but why did he have to turn this into a full-blown episode? It's almost like he had his own agenda...

*Anxiety's POV*

"You wonder why all these changes are throwing you off? It's the lessening of steady constants in your life." My words to Thomas may or may not have been a mirror of my current situation. The sides usually help him come to a conclusion, though, so maybe they could help me. I could just ask them outright to help me, but I didn't want Roman to know I was having these doubts. I didn't want to hurt him. I had to throw all I had at Thomas to get the possible solution as to what to do.

"Oh my goodness, that's right, Thomas, and you are a Taurus." Morality exclaimed. Even though astrology has no merit in my personal opinion, Patton was helping my case along.

"When you're in these new settings and situations, something is off." I told him, eerily. It was that exact feeling while I tried to imagine my ebony accents scattered around Prince's room. It just didn't feel like it fit, like I didn't fit...