Ariana Grande's Sister

Old Habits (TW)

'Joey 💛 sent you a snap'

I grab my phone out of my pocket and unlock it, opening Snapchat. I add Sky, Matt and Joey back, and then open Joeys message. He was just saying hi, so I say the same back. I open my laptop and log into my Netflix. I'm addicted to Stranger Things. I had made it through about half of the episode, when there's a gentle knock at my bedroom door. "Soph, Ricky's leaving come and say bye" Ariana calls through. I groan quietly, unsure if Ricky's there with her, and make my way downstairs. I walk awkwardly over to Ariana and Ricky, and stand next to Ariana. "Bye" I say nervously, forcing a smile. "Nice seeing you again" He smiles. I stay put while Ari and Ricky walk to the door, but as he turns I notice him scowl at me slightly. What's his problem.

"So" Ariana says happily, shutting the doors behind Ricky. "Did you make any new friends?" "Um yeah a few" I mumble, distracted by my thoughts. She walks up to me and smiles. "Are you hungry? I can order us food if you want" She offers, smiling wide. I just nod my head. She walks into the kitchen and picks up her phone to order, so I use that as an excuse to go back to my room. Pressing play on Stranger Things, I glance over at my phone, which is displaying a few notifications. A few new people from school have added me, but one name pops out. 'Jessica👑 has added you as a friend' Oh no. Not her. I click on my chats and see that both Joey and Jessica have messaged me. I click on Joey's first, which is just 'Wyd' and then open Jessica's. I gasp as I read her message. She had replied to the selfie I had posted this morning.

You're an ugly fuck, just move back to Florida you cow

I hesitate but decide to just ignore it. Unfortunately, it shows that I have opened it.

Too scared of the truth? Kill yourself, because no one wants you here anyways.

A single tear runs down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away with my thumb, just like my dad used to. I won't let her win. I type a reply and turn my phone off.

What did I do to you?

I change into a long white tee and some black shorts, and tie my hair in a messy bun. I sigh as I look at my reflection. Words such as 'fat'  'ugly' 'loser'  cross my mind. I sigh and take deep breaths. Don't let yourself think like that again.

flashback to last year

"You ugly bitch! Go slit your wrists again, I'm ashamed to call you my friend. Just get lost!" 

I run up the stairs, my heart beating rapidly, and into my bathroom. I dig through the drawers and pick up my medication, and throw it out the window. I don't need it, I'm fine. I can deal with this myself. I haven't taken them in a week and I'm doing fine! I fumble around in attempt to find my razor, and pick it up. I stare it down before slashing into my already cut wrist. I rinse my wounds, and exit the bathroom, my stomach rumbling. I haven't eaten in 2 days. The more hungry I become, the prettier I am, right? I walk downstairs, and find my parents yelling at each other. I peer into the kitchen, and see my Mom crying on the floor. I want to go help her, but I'm scared of Dad.

"The food's here!" Ariana shouts from the kitchen. I look back at my reflection, and notice that I'm crying. I wipe away the tears and force a smile, walking down to Ariana. "There she is" She smiles warmly, and I pull her in for a hug. "Is everything ok?" She asks, concerned. I nod nervously and sit down at the table, and eat my pizza slowly. With every chew, the voice inside my head bullies me. You fat bitch. Is all I can hear. I drop my slice onto the plate and a tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away before Ariana notices. I glance up and see her eating her food perfectly. I wish I could be like her. Everyone only likes you because of Ariana. No one actually likes you. Not even Ariana. You're here because there was no where else for you to go, she didn't invite you. Another tear rolls down my cheek, and taps as it falls onto my plate. "Are you crying?" Ariana asks, placing her food down and looking me in the eye. "Um..No" I lie. As I said before, I'm a terrible actress. "Do you want to talk about anything? I'm always here if-" Ariana consoles. I stand up and quickly exit the room, running up the stairs and locking my bedroom door behind me. I don't think twice and run into the bathroom, raking through the drawers for something sharp. I deserve the pain.

I can't find anything so I use my hands to smash a piece of glass off the mirror, and without thinking, I swipe it harshly across my wrists. I scream in pain, but don't stop. I slice it deeper across my wrists, blood trickling down my arm. I wince in pain but continue cutting. "SOPHIA" Ariana yells, banging on the bedroom door, startling me. "OPEN THE DOOR!" I ignore her and proceed to rinse my cuts. I rinse them with cold water, and find a bottle of hand sanitiser. Do it! I grab it and empty the bottle on my wrists. The burning sensation hits me about 5 seconds later, and I scream in pain again. I hear Ariana sobbing and shouting from outside my bedroom. I bandage up my cuts and rush over to the closet, pulling out a sweater. I throw it on quickly, making sure the sleeve covers my fresh cuts, and open the door. Surprisingly, Ariana isn't there. I hear gentle sobs from her bedroom, and knock on the door, before opening it. "S-Sophie what happened!?" She cries, rushing over to me. "I had an anxiety attack Ari, and I....never mind" I admit. "You what" She asks quickly. "Nothing" I cover. "I just got upset about stuff" I explain. She seems to believe it. "Look I know starting at a new school is tough, but I know you'll pull through" She smiles, hugging me tightly. "And I'm glad you resisted yourself from cutting" She whispered. "I'm so proud" Another tear rolls down my cheek. I've disappointed someone else.