Boys This Young

22|Must Go Down

warning: mentions of sexual assault
//

Dan unlocked his dorm, falling against the door dreamily with a sigh. He felt like a teenage girl who just had her first kiss. He had had an amazing and fun weekend with Phil, and he loved just seeing Phil so this was like a holiday.

Everything had worked out.

But now he was exhausted. Phil almost wouldn't let him leave this morning. He was kissing him all over, muttering that if Dan would just stay another hour he'd do whatever he wanted.

Of course, when Phil said another hour he meant two. And Dan knew he'd be so exhausted after he'd probably sleep. And he knew, that he had to study for an exam. And he knew, he had to leave before the traffic settled in. So as much as Dan wanted to catch up on all of the sexual attention he'd missed, he knew how to be without it. He had to be just the tinest bit responsible for himself, and he'd been wanting to tell Arin that things were good now, but Arin didn't always have an active phone bill.

Suddenly the bathroom door unlocked and both Arin and Dan jumped at the sight of each other, startled to be face to face.

"God sorry, I didn't hear you come in." Arin said, and Dan frowned at his appearance.

His eyes were red as if he'd been crying(or he was possibly high) and they looked a little puffy. He seemed worn and tired, and even his short hair found a way to look messy. He looked way more exhausted than Dan did, and he was in nothing but his sweatpants and socks.

It was almost three pm and Arin had obviously not even showered.

"It's okay...but are you?" Dan asked, sitting up from the floor and looking at him with worried eyes.

"Um yeah..." Arin said, swiftly scratching his neck.

Dan got closer to him and then he smelt it. Alcohol.

Dan frowned more. "Have you been drinking?"

"A little." Arin said, and Dan knew it wasn't a little. He knew Arin drunk, and this is what he looked like. He always was so calm, but little things set him off.

"You know your therapist says alcohol inhances your anger, Arin. You really shouldn't get drunk so much."

"It's my body." Arin said, "I decide what I do with it."

"I know but...you shouldn't."

"Fuck Dan, like anyone cares what happens to me anyway! You don't give a fuck about me, my parents don't give a fuck about me, and you just drive me insane! So back off of me alright, stop pretending to worry when you don't care!"

Dan scoffed, "Are you kidding me, Arin? Of course I care about you why would you think that?"

"Because you're a user, Dan! And you're...with Phil and I just don't matter and I'm in between and I'm pointless. I fucking hate myself, for liking you and girls and it doesn't make sense and my parents sure as hell don't understand! Just fucking stop!"

Dan sighed, "I know your parents are...I know you went to see them. I'm sorry if it didn't go well. We can talk about it if you want. But Arin I thought we were over this. And I know being bisexual is-"

"Shut up, you can't just label me! Like you even understand what it's like to be me! Your parents accept you and you have a nice boyfriend who does everything for you and your biggest problem is how miserable this place makes you when you can just fucking go and no consequences will follow! So fuck you, Dan, don't act like you know my problems!"