Boys This Young

28|A Chat With God

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just at our--my dorm."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Aren't you at your family's house? I can't bother you, I'm really okay."

"Okay. I wouldn't mind too much though, Phil and I are arguing."

"What happened?"

"Something stupid."

"Is it over me?"

"It always is."

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't getting drunk or high or...hanging out with those douchebags."

"They don't want to talk to me anyway, so you don't have to worry about them."

"Why? What happened to them?"

"Phil outed me."

Dan winced. "Sorry on his behalf, I guess."

"It's fine. I deserved it."

"You did."

Arin laughed slightly. "I probably deserve more, Dan."

"The debt is already paid." Dan said, "You...you listening  to me, makes it okay. I mean, not the action itself, that is never okay, but I forgive you and thats okay, because its my decision, and its how I feel."

"What about Phil?" Arin asks, "Does he know you're talking to me again?"

"He didn't. But now he's super mad that we are, when he snooped on me and found out."

Arin shook his head. "Then we shouldn't talk."

"What?"

"I'm not trying to start anything more between you and Phil, and...he's always kinda right."

"Right? Or controlling?"

"He treats you so good, Dan."

"Sometimes." Dan said.

"Old habits die hard. Do you not think he's trying?"

"Why are you defending him?"

"He's the only one to ever keep you so safe." Arin said, "He's...he's important to you, so he's important to me."

"Can I be honest?"

"Yeah."

"Him being controlling is probably more my fault than his."

"Why do say that?"

"I'm submissive." Dan said, "I've always done whatever he said, so to change that...he's not used to it. And I used to volunteer to do whatever he wants. Every time he needed something I'd trip over myself to do it for him. And he's just frustrated trying to back down from being dominant. And he thinks you changed me, made me more confident while breaking me down at the same time. He doesn't trust you. Oh and not to mention, I cheated on him with you. He can't help but control us. I think his only problem is loving me."

"Don't say that."

"It's true." Dan sighed, "He's fighting himself to keep me happy. He's changing himself. You're right about that. I could see it in his eyes how much he wanted to yell at me today, but he didn't. He let me win."

"So why are you mad?"

"Ready for the truth again?"

"Hit me."

"I have a right to be."

//

Phil sighed, looking at the bathroom door which Dan had been behind for almost three hours. He left once to retrieve clothes when he was sure Phil was out of the room, but Phil didn't know that. Dan had taken a shower and gotten ready, but stayed put in the bathroom.

Phil knocked softly. "Dan? Your mum and dad want you down for lunch."

Dan didn't say anything, just tapped the tile and tried to will Phil away with his mind.

"I'm sorry." Phil said, "I know you don't like it when I pressure you. No one likes pressure. I just don't like you keeping things from me."

Dan still didn't answer.

Phil slid down the door now with his back to it, sighing deeply. "I...I love you."

Dan felt his heart wrench at that and he knew he couldn't not reply to that. "Tell them I'm not hungry."

"I know you are." Phil said, "Come on, you don't even have to do it for me. I'm so sorry, Dan. I'm so bad at being everything you want. I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you used to think I was."

Dan shook his head. "It's fine, Phil."

"It's not fine. You're right. I've been holding you down since you could walk. I just want you to make the right decisions, but now that you're an adult it's not my job to decide what's the right decision for you. Like even when you were sixteen, and I held us both back from being happy. And...we're fighting too much, don't you think?"

Phil received silence again, but then suddenly he was falling backwards as Dan opened the door and somehow Dan was fast enough to catch him. They were face to face on the floor now, Phil having fell on Dan's lap. They stared at each other until Dan kissed him, and Phil felt himself smile.

"Let's spend more time kissing." Dan mumbled, "Then there won't be enough air to fight."

"That's so stupid." Phil laughed, but Dan locked him in another kiss to silence him. Phil hummed amusedly at him and Dan pulled away with an eyebrow raised. "You're such a babe." Phil said randomly.

This time it was Dan's turn to laugh.

"DAN! PHIL! COME GET SOME LUNCH BEFORE I DRAG YOU BRATS DOWN THE STAIRS BY YOUR EMO WIGS." Dan's mum called.

"Coming!" Both of the boys shouted, racing each other down the stairs like when they were kids.

-

AN: I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, but y'all just keep eating up these terrible updates and washing them down with a big cup of tea and I'm like wow why don't you hate them