Boys This Young

36| The End Has Come And So Have I

//

"We're here again."

"I honestly thought we were done for good."

"We're not done until we're married."

"True."

"Actually, we're not done until there's some horrible plot twist and I'm pregnant."

"Why would anyone write that?"

"Some people are twisted."

Phil smiled, "Imagining you pregnant is so funny."

"Honestly, with all that food we just ate I might as well be."

"If you're pregnant does that mean girls are the ones who impregnate?"

"OH SHIT! PLOT TWIST I'M STRAIGHT AND PREGNANT WITH SOME GIRLS BABY!"

"You straight is less likely than you pregnant."

"Oh ha, ha, so funny. We know the truth, I totally like vagina. It's a fun hole."

"Ew, you're gross." Phil said, "Straight Dan is nasty."

"Yeah, Yeah, pusssssyyy ON MY FACE! On my dick! Pussssyyy on my, uh...hand? Yeah, I like boobs! ON MY FACE! On my dick! On my...hand...again! Fuck yeah...GIRLS AND SHIT!"

"Damn, you are straighter than a ruler. I'm intimidated by your straight. Lord help."

Dan smiled and wrapped his arms around Phil. "And what if I was gay?"

Phil grinned and kissed his nose. "I think...I'd marry you."

Dan laughed, "That's not the line! You're supposed to say you'd fuck me."

"Yes, but it's not over until we're married, remember? We already fucked."

"Hm." Dan said, "But we didn't fuck until this book."

"So I guess we can't get married until the next one."

Dan's eyes widen. "Fuck, we really are here. Shit."

"We just have to open the door and tell her."

"Oh right. That bitch." Dan said with a roll of her eyes. "Honestly, did she have to include all that shit with assault and stuff? That was sad! I had to live through it."

"Oh, don't hate her! We can't all be good at writing." Phil said, and Dan laughed as they opened up the door.

"Uh, hello? Author?"

The author looked up at them from her spot on the floor, surrounded by food wrappers and blankets, moaning like she was dying. "Go away, I'm mourning the loss of my dignity."

"We know, you've been doing that for a while now. We just came to tell you that it's the end." Phil said.

The author shot up. "What? Again? BUT CONNOR STILL DOESNT HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND HE DESERVES ONE!"

"Just write one laterrrr." Dan whined, "And write a better plot for Arin next time. That shit was fucked."

The author stuck her tongue out at them. "Fight me scrub lord, I'm ripped."

Phil bent down and patted her shoulder. "It's been nice knowing you again. Thanks for giving me Dan and all."

"Yeah, and thanks for the sexy smut scene." Dan said, "I quite liked that part."

The author nodded. "Yeah, me too. Kind of cringey, kind of fun."

"You know I personally I feel like you put a bit too much of your own personal issues into your writing, I mean the whole daddy kink thing probably came from some buried desire deep down inside of you and the sexual assault plot? I'm just saying, you're definitely living through us a little, like it could use a bit more work-"

"SHHHHH!" The author said, "They're listening!"

Dan shrugged, "It's nothing they don't already suspect."

"Leave me alone, you heathens." The author hissed, crawling back into her burrow of blankets that smelled of regret, crumbs, and masterbation. "Just go. End it. End meeeeee."

"Well, alright. We'll be seeing you!" Phil called as they got up, and turned to leave. "Have fun uh...laying here in a pool of your own sadness."

The author gave them a thumbs up as they left, shutting reality out with a sigh of relief. There wasn't as many planned out happy endings in her world. It was sad there.

"God, she is a mess." Dan said, "That explains why we are too."

"I mean, she could be worse. She could've wrote you as the top."

Dan shuddered. "You're right. Terrifying."

As they walked down the familiar road Dan smiled. "Hey, you want to know something?"

"What?"

"You're my favorite everything."

Phil rolled his eyes. "Oh my god not this again. Not this."

"Well, it's true!"

"I can't take it! I hate us! We are the worst and grossest couple ever."

"Well, boys this young can be a little dumb. But that's okay, because we grow up, and we learn. And we fall in love, and we fall apart. And I am so lucky to have grown up with you."

Phil smiled, kissing Dan. "You know what?"

"What?"

"You're my favorite everything too."

-

AN: I did it again only like one and a half years later wowza. sorry there wasn't smut, just go read some out of my one shot book, there's some promo and a bit of problem solving woo!

you crying?