The title is a bit inaccurate, I'm ftm nonbinary (not sure if agender or genderqueer, lol) but whatever I've had this book for ages.
My name is Hayden and I'm a teenage unicorn boy. I like music and to draw and I also like YouTube. I'm full of love...
That first picture was taken almost a year ago. Holy hell.
It's only a small part of my transition, but if you're someone like me, it makes a huge difference between being happy and being miserable.
Also, I've started passing more in public. No binding or nothing, just a baseball cap. When it happened I almost didn't know how to handle it; I almost "corrected" him to say ma'am, not on purpose, just because I've never really passed before.
I was in a furniture store and this old guy tried to push in a chair, so I helped him. After I finished he said "thank you, sir." I didn't know to act I swear to god. I turned away because I was afraid if he saw my face he would correct himself and said "you're welcome" in my deepest voice and ran — literally ran — away.
I wasn't even binding that day (I don't wanna bind until I get an actual binder) and my hair looked absolutely messed up so I wore a baseball cap. Maybe it was the hat and the short hair. Idk. Not complaining tho.
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Also, my self esteem has boosted a lot since I got a haircut. I actually feel attractive, which is new to me because I'm not used to looking in the mirror or taking a picture and going "I look really hot." (I don't say that, but you get the point.)
I mean, I haven't thought I was ugly for like almost 2 years, but I never said that I was attractive out loud before because I didn't think that. I've had self confidence issues for years so this is the first time in a while that I was like, "ya know, I'm not bad looking."
