hello. i know that no one is gonna read this book, but i still thought that i would update it just in case some queer kid comes across my hella old story.
my name is hayden, i'm 16 years old, and i'm a trans man (he/they). i'd spoken before about wanting to become a musician. i'm currently the drummer of an unnamed grunge(?) band with some friends and i just started learning ukulele.
i used to frequently write about poor mental health and self harm in this book. i think whoever reads this will be happy to know that i don't self harm anymore. mental health has always been a slippery slope but it's on the increase.
i'm a junior in high school and i'm always tired. the adhd makes me hella hyperactive and those 2 traits fight each other a lot of the time. i'm like 90 percent sure i have an electrolyte addiction from the amount of Gatorade and terrible stuff i drink. i have a sketchbook that's mostly drawings of lewd women bc that's all i practice drawing.
i'm currently studying to go to art school and possibly get a job as a graphic designer. i've been into diy-ing a lot of my stuff lately bc i think it's fun mostly. i've also been getting into punk music and studying anarchist theory. i've been into the jins (basically bootleg canadian nirvana), pup, and the frights in terms of music. one of my band mates got me into the misfits and i resent him for it.
i don't have a car or a license so when i travel by myself it's by walking. i like to walk around and find cool things in my neighborhood to show my friends later. usually it's just the park so i can swing on the swings like the internalized child i am. i have a dream of taking whoever i'm dating to one of those places one day. maybe we can swing on the swings like stupid kids.
i'm a different person than i was when i started this book. i've yet to go back and look at any old chapters bc i'm not prepared for that amount of cringe. but hey, if you're cringing at your old self, it means that you've grown or something so i'll take that. i hope that i can be seen as an example that things do get better or something. i'm nothing close to a role model but if i can make someone feel a little bit less alone then i've achieved my purpose.
well, i think this has served its purpose. before i go i'll leave song and movie recs if you're into that kinda thing.
Songs:
- reservoir - PUP
- i think ur rlly cool - carpetgarden
- sedona - sir chloe
- kids - the frights
- submarines - the frights
- death wish - the jins
- she said - the jins
- flyer - skating polly
movies:
- the fly 2
- handsome devil
- alex strangelove
- tomboy
Take care ya bunch of crazy kids.
signed a happy, growing and improving, hayden
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He, Zhe, They: Agender Diary
CasualeThe title is a bit inaccurate, I'm ftm nonbinary (not sure if agender or genderqueer, lol) but whatever I've had this book for ages. My name is Hayden and I'm a teenage unicorn boy. I like music and to draw and I also like YouTube. I'm full of love...
