A Loser With A Cellphone (Alex Standall)

73

You: wHatS uP my homeboi
Alex: ...you feeling okay?
You: I am feeling as fit as a fiddle, my friend
Alex: what does that saying even mean
You: don't ask me I'm not the expert
Alex: Well you're the one who used it
You: I just came out to have a good time and i honestly feel so attacked right now
Alex: I do recall you saying that I didn't come across as a meme sort of guy
You: the fact that i recognized that it was one should've revealed to you that I am a meme sort of girl
Alex: I'm soRRY I'm not a detective or anything
You: *steals your eyeglass and microscope from you* okay Sherlock Holmes
Alex: *sweating nervously* those aren't mine I was holding them for a friend
You: then why is 'Alex' engraved on the handle??
Alex: it's a very dedicated friend
You: I'm not buying it
You: I can't believe you'd lie to me
Alex: please I've got a wife and kids to feed
You: oh no...I dropped your microscope...
Alex: at least let me have a proper funeral for it
You: it lived but it's disowning you because you refused to say that it was yours 💔you broke its little heart
Alex: tell it I'm sorry and I'll buy it chocolate to make it up to them
You: it's disgusted that you even considering buying it's love and it also requests a 24 box with the coconut ones taken out of it
Alex: the coconut ones are the best ones in it
You: omg do you really think that
Alex: yes ?
You: omg
You: we can't be friends anymore
Alex: hOLD THE PHONE
Alex: IT MAKES SENSE THO IM THE PERFECT FRIEND TO HAVE
Alex: cuz I'll eat the ones you don't like and you can have the rest!!
You: that does actually make sense
Alex: meet up with a box of 24 chocolates outside of school in the afternoon?
You: damn ur real pushy with this aren't you
You: why does our entire friendship seem to revolve around food
Alex: ya
Alex: because you need food to live
Alex: like you would literally die without it
You: I'm sorry for earlier, I mistook you. You're not a detective, you're a scientist!! Thank you, Mr. Genius
Mr. Genius: I can sense sarcasm when I hear it
You: do u read my texts in my voice or yours
Mr. Genius: damn I never even thought about that
Mr. Genius: listen I'm not looking for an existential crisis right now
You: it's a siMPLE QUESTION
You: gosh
Mr. Genius: sorry I don't fit your standards :'(
You: oh, shut up
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I'm sorry I went so long without updating this 💔I had nO ideas whatsoever but I just finished my other main fanfic (Check it out if you want, it's called Can You Keep A Secret) so hopefully I can focus more on this one ✌🏻anYways I hope yous enjoy this slightly longer than usual update