A Fiery Red Summer (Jenna Mcdougall and Hayley Williams)

The Reconciliation

Tay:

I had been a real bitch the past few days, I realized that, but it felt good to get all my anger out, I was just getting it out in the wrong way. I was having a hard time getting over my break up with my boyfriend, he had told me that he couldn't deal with the distance in between us and had on several occasions cheated on me. I guess that, seeing a girl I once truly loved and PMS pushed me over the edge and made me into a real ass. Maybe I was even associating Jenna being with someone else with my boyfriend cheating on me. No matter what the reason I knew it was wrong.

A few days had passed since I left the message on Tonight Alive's bus. I hoped that after not hearing from me for a few days Jenna would have calmed down. I sent her a text at about 8 in the morning, I asked her if we could talk it out like responsible adults, she agreed to meet me at the cafeteria at 9:30.

She and I sat down at a table in the middle of the tent, we were surrounded by the breakfast crowd. I figured it was a good place to be if a fight were to break out because there would be witnesses. She had been respectful so far, but I saw the anger in her eyes.

"I know you're pissed at me, I understand completely. I have been a real ass lately and I overreacted. I don't want to fight anymore, you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you." I said in the most sincere, apologetic voice I could.

She didn't say a word, she wasn't even eating; she just sat there staring at me her eyebrows raised. Damn that was a sexy look. "Shit Tay, don't think that, she's got a girlfriend you're here to get your friend back." I screamed in my head.

I continued talking "I guess I owe you an explanation. Ryan just broke up with me, he wasn't handling me being on tour all the time very well and he ended up sleeping with other women. I guess I should be grateful that he didn't lie and lead me on longer, but I didn't take it well and seeing you with Hayley made me think about me and you, but we aren't together anymore, I understand that. I just want my friend back, I really do."

She still seemed to not be buying it, but she had lowered her eyebrows and had a more thoughtful look.

"You were a total ass, you really hurt me. I want to stay friends as well, but I don't know if I can trust you Tay. Do you promise all this drama is over?"

"Yes, I promise. I'll do what ever you want to prove it to you."

"Anything? Alright come by later and hang out with me and Hayley."

I knew it would be hard to have to see them together, but I agreed. Jenna and I finished breakfast in silence and then parted ways.

I went back to my bus were my band mates were hanging out. I needed someone to talk to so I asked Rob if he would come with me to the back of the bus. He was a level headed guy and knew when not to make jokes. I explained the situation, the fact that I was falling for Jenna again, but now she was with Hayley and I didn't want to lose her as a friend. Unfortunately he said what I feared, I had to either suck it up and deal with their relationship or lose her.

At 12 I went to meet the two of them for lunch. They arrived side by side holding hands.

"Suck it up Jardine" I thought.

"Hi, Taylor." Hayley greeted me kindly, holding her hand out for a hand shake.

I shook her hand and chimed back "Hi, I really hope we can get along better than we have these past few days." I forced a smile.

All through lunch I tried to keep the small talk going, trying my hardest to ignore their loving glances at each other and inside jokes. I felt my heart breaking from it. Was it worth it? After lunch I asked Jenna if I could talk to her alone. She reluctantly agreed to it.

"Jenna, I really don't know what to do. I can't hold back my feelings for you. I miss you and it's hurting me seeing you together with her, not because I think she's a bad person, but because I wish she were me."

"I'm happy Tay, you can't just expect me to give that up for you."

"I don't expect you to. Can we hang out just the two of us though, that way it isn't being flaunted right in front of me?"

"I don't think that's a good idea Tay, I think we're going to have to call it quits."

"Then at least let me do this" I took her face between my hands and kissed her, her smooth lips felt so right on mine. I expected her to pull away, but she didn't, instead she leaned in and kissed me back. Then she realized what she was doing and pulled back with a horrified and guilty look on her face. She ran off without saying goodbye.

I was left alone, sad and dissatisfied. I barely made it through our show, my voice cracked several times and as soon as it was over with I went to my bunk and cried myself to sleep.