A Fiery Red Summer (Jenna Mcdougall and Hayley Williams)

The Secret

Jenna:

I was shocked after Tay kissed me, more by my own actions than hers. How could I have let myself kiss her? Especially now that Hayley and I were trying to create a more serious relationship. I kept thinking back to that moment, every time I couldn't help but feel pleasure from it. I felt so guilty, but I knew I had never fully gotten over my feelings for Tay. I couldn't bring myself to tell Hayley what had happened, I don't know if it was because I was scared of how she would react or because I was scared of wanting Tay more than her.

Nonetheless I continued my sweet romance with Hayley and avoided Tay. I didn't hear from Tay for 2 weeks, but I guess she finally couldn't resist any longer she sent me a text asking if I would meet her outside the gates at the south side of the grounds at noon. I stupidly agreed.

The hours passed slowly and I didn't see Hayley all morning, I felt guilty for having accepted Tay's invitation and I was sure Hayley would have seen that I was hiding something. When the time finally came I snuck away to find Tay.

"Jenna I'm so glad you came. These last couple of weeks have been so hard for me."

"Why did you want me to come meet you?"

"I need to know what that kiss meant, it's been driving me crazy everyday."

"I don't know what it really meant. It was as shocking to me as it probably was to you."

We stood there in silence for a minute.

"So, you're still with Hayley, huh?"

"Of course I am, I couldn't leave her because of one stupid kiss."

"Stupid? So it meant nothing to you?"

"I wish it meant nothing. I wouldn't feel so guilty if that were the case. I felt the same spark there that we had last summer."

"So why are you so reluctant to come back to me? Why are you torturing me like this?"

"Because ,Tay, you broke my heart at the end of tour. How do I know you won't run off with the first guy you see this year. Maybe we'd have a chance if you weren't so ashamed of who you are. If you would take the relationship seriously. This is never going to be a long term relationship if you have to hide me from your family."

"Jenna, I want to be with you forever, I just don't want to disappoint maybe even disgust my parents by telling them I'm bi."

"Then we can never work."

"Has Hayley told her family?"

"Actually, she has, she Skyped them just the other day."

Tay came closer to me her body inches from mine. My heart raced, I wasn't sure how to react, my brain was screaming no, but my heart was saying yes. I stood there frozen staring into her eyes, tears filled them and a single drop rolled down her cheek. I wanted to hug her and comfort her, but before I could she pressed her lips against mine. It was a quick kiss, but still enough to erase my mind and leave me speechless.

"If the only way to win you back is to tell them, then I will do it. Give me a little time, but I promise I will do it." she whispered before running off.

I doubted that she would keep her promise. I fought to keep back the tears until I made it back to my bus. At first I believed it was deserted, I heard nothing, nor saw anything, but I soon found Matt curled up in a ball laying in the back. We both were quite the sight to see, I had burst in to tears the second I closed the door behind me, my face was soaked with tears and my face red. Matt on the other hand had stopped his crying, but you could tell he had been by his puffy red eyes and the large amount of tissues on the floor.

"You alright mate?" I managed to say while choking back my tears.

"No better than you it would seem. Do care to share? Hearing of someone else's woes might make me feel better about my own."

"You promise to keep it a secret?"

"Yeah, of course."

I told him all about what had happened between me and Tay. When I was done I asked him what his troubles were; he told me he had been sleeping with Matt C. from Hands Like Houses and had started having feelings for him, but when he had talked to him about it earlier Matt told him that they were only fuck buddies. We sat there feeling sorry for ourselves until Jake found us and told us we were going to be late for our signing.