A Fiery Red Summer (Jenna Mcdougall and Hayley Williams)

The End of a Family

Jenna:

I woke up the next morning curled up next to a practically naked Hayley in the back room of the Paramore bus. She was still asleep, so I quietly dressed and tiptoed out of the room. I told the guys to not go in there until she woke up and then went to my bus. My band mates were still asleep. I figured they would be up soon enough and sat down at the kitchen table to play a game on my phone when I got a text from Tay, it read: Jenna I really need you. I told my parents and it didn't go well. Please don't ignore me.

I was so sure that she would never get the courage to talk to her family, I thought that I wouldn't have to choose between Hayley and Tay, but after last night it was clear that I couldn't leave Hayley, my feelings for her were too strong and even though I still had feelings for Tay they had faded with time. I still couldn't abandon Tay, she had done as I had asked her to and she at least needed a friend right now. I sent her a text back telling her I would go to her bus ASAP.

When I got there I found her in fetal position on her bunk, her limbs trembling and her breath coming in short gasps. I cursed under my breath, it was worse than I had thought. I climbed up on to her bunk. Then I slowly wrapped one arm around her, trying not to startle her or irritate her more. She didn't shrug me away or show any signs of protest so I scooted myself closer to her and wrapped my other arm around her, hoping it would help her feel more secure.

"Can you talk?" I asked gently and calmly.

She didn't answer so I took it as a 'no'.

"OK, well, I will do the talking. I want you to know that I am here for you, you aren't alone. You were very brave to have talked to your parents and I am very proud of you. Forget everything they said about you and remember that you are amazing just the way you are." I said trying to maintain the soothing calm tone, even though feeling her shaking in my arms was starting to make me freak out.

Mike came on to the bus to check on Tay.

"Finally someone is here to help, none of us knew what to do. How is she?" He asked me.

"She's pretty shaken up and definitely not in any shape to perform today. I'm afraid you are going to have to cancel your show." I replied.

He nodded in agreement and left.

I kept talking to her and as time passed she started to calm down, but even after she had stopped shaking and her breathing had evened out she didn't say a word. I turned her towards me and saw tears rolling down her cheeks, she was still silently suffering. It was nearing time for me to get ready for my set, but I didn't trust her to be by herself.

I sent Whakaio a text asking him to find someone to look after Tay. 15 minutes later he showed up with a girl that seemed familiar, but I couldn't remember where I had seen her. She had bright pink hair and was wearing a dress that seemed to consist of a corset and a tutu.

"Hi, I'm Ariel, from Icon for Hire."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jenna, sorry to burden you, but my friend here is having a really rough day and I'm scared she might do something irrational while I'm gone. I'll be back in an hour tops." I turned to Tay "Don't hurt yourself while I'm gone. Please."

Once I was off the bus I got upset with Whak "Why the fuck did you ask her, she doesn't know any of us she shouldn't have to deal with that mess. Couldn't you have asked Bert, Vic or Alex?"

"Do you really think one of them would have been good people for her to be around right now?"

"Fine, I guess you're right."

It felt good to get out on stage and have the adrenaline rush re-energize me after the draining morning. The half hour of pure adrenaline and time away from Tay really helped me mentally prepare myself to go back. It really pained me to see her in such a condition.

Back at her bus I thanked Ariel and climbed back up net to Tay. She leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Are you ready to talk about it yet?"

"There is nothing to talk about, it is what it is."

"C'mon Tay, don't be like that. You might feel a little better if you talk about it."

"Fine, I told them I was bi and they asked me if I was just trying to hide that I was actually gay, when I told them that I really am bi my mom told me she didn't raise a slut and I was being a disgrace to the family."

"They'll come around once they realize sexuality isn't just about who you sleep with, but who you want to spend the rest of your life with."

"I don't know if that'll happen they said they don't want to see me again until I realize how wrong it is and change my ways."

"I'm so sorry Tay. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Don't leave me tonight."

"I won't."

That night Tay fell asleep next to me with her head on my chest.