Tracing Memories

17: J u s t .S a y. I t

That day near the sea, I almost confessed my feelings. But I held myself back because even though the atmosphere felt right, the time wasn't and I didn't want my confession to be a burden to you.

I didn't bring myself to tell you for a really long time after that, not even the day we finally won over Aliea Academy once and for all or the days that followed or when we went to Liocott Island for Football Frontier International. But even though I couldn't tell you the truth I made sure I was there to support you whenever you needed me.

And just like that, it all came to an end. It was our graduation day. I marveled at how time seemed to have passed by us like a gust of wind and now we were all going to pick our own separate ways. Now I had to talk to you whether I could find the courage to do it or not or else I might never have this moment with you again.

"Can we meet at the river bank in the evening?" I had asked as we stood in front of our school gazing at it one last time.

"Of course." You answered nonchalantly and walked away, "I'll see you then." I watched your retreating figure fade away as I took a deep breath and made a wish for things to go down easily.

I stood near the river, my hands tightly intertwined with each other as I nervously waited for you. When you didn't show up at the anticipated time I almost thought you wouldn't come and the overwhelming disappointment made me weak in my knees. What if you already knew what I was going to tell you and you didn't want to face me?Maybe you never wanted to see me again. The thought sent a pang through my heart but the next moment I shook my head as if doing that would knock these thoughts literally out of my mind.

Finally, your faded figure appeared in the distance. The sun was setting as you came closer and closer, walking towards me through the stairs of the slope. You stood in front of me, your orange jacket appearing to be even more saturated in the orange light of the sunset.

"Sorry, I'm late." You apologized sheepishly. I waved a hand dismissively to let you know I didn't mind.

"So?" You asked, stuffing your hands in your pockets,  your voice dripping with anticipation and inquisitiveness.

"I-I wanted to tell you something..." I began, my gaze fixed at the grass blades beneath us. I felt I couldn't face your intense stare as I was finally about to open up my heart to you.

I glanced at you once and found you looking at me eagerly, wanting to finish my sentence as soon as possible.

"I am in love with you..." I finally blurted, "I have been for a long time and I wanted to tell you before but I never found the right time."

I looked up at you between blushing immensely and found you staring at me in stunned silence. I couldn't read your expression or what to expect next.

"Gouenji?" I meekly murmured as I was afraid I had angered you. I reached out to hold your hand but you suddenly moved and took a step back. I was startled by your sudden reaction and as a result, I stepped back gasping softly.

"I gotta go." You mumbled in a barely audible confused voice and returned as you came, hastily.

I stood there baffled for a minute or so, making sense of what had just happened and when I did, I was consumed by a feeling of regret. I had ruined everything in hopes of trying to have more than I could.

I wiped away the tears that had formed on the edge of my eyes and slowly dragged my feet towards home as the sun hid behind the horizon at last.

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