Tracing Memories

9: F l a s h

While I had sketching as my hobby, Haruna had photography. All day long she would have her camera in her hands clicking pictures of anything and everything her eyes fell on. She had a ton of photographs of the team practicing, resting, having fun etc. Every time she finished a roll, she'd immediately get it developed, then bring the pictures to show us. Her pictures were always wonderful. She was very good at this skill of hers.

One day, after the usual evening practice at the riverbank, you and I sat on the grassy slopes talking about miscellaneous topics. You happen to be telling an interesting incident causing you to smile as you talked while I listened intently, my gaze fixed on you and my face rested on my palm. Just then we felt an unexpected flash of white light fall on our face. This disrupted our conversation immediately as I looked up at the sky instinctively thinking it was lightning but found the sky empty while you just looked around in a confused state. We finally understood what happened when we saw Haruna giggling with her camera in her hand.

"You two make a cute couple." She teased. I flushed immediately at her comment and was about to say something in our defense but you spoke before me.

"That's ridiculous! U-us and a couple? No!" You exclaimed. On this, Haruna backed away still giggling and went to the other side of the field to take more pictures.

I, on the other hand, gawked at you with surprise. The way you had denied the idea of us being a couple so ruthlessly left me shattered. Was I really that bad of a choice to you? Could you never return the feelings I had for you? Tears welled up in my eyes and threatened to spill as more and more despairing questions formed in my mind. Since Haruna left, you hadn't looked at me so you didn't know my reaction to all of this. I silently stood up and turned to leave. This brought your attention back to me.

"Are you leaving already?" You asked returning to your composed self. You seemed to have no realization of what you had just implied.

"Yeah it's getting dark. I should go." I said in a quivering voice. I was trying hard not to cry.

"Want me to walk you home?" You asked again.

"No it's fine." I muttered and left before you could say anything and make me break down. I walked home alone that evening even though it had gotten dark and I was afraid.

I didn't talk to you the next day and then the next day. It was not like I was mad at you for saying that. Of course just because I liked you, you weren't forced to like me back but I felt every time I would talk to you, your words would refresh themselves in my mind and hurt me all over again. I decided I'd talk to you only when I'd have been able to put this whole thing behind me.

People noticed that I was avoiding you. Aki and Haruna cornered me when we were alone in the clubroom and asked me what was wrong. I denied their doubts saying it was nothing like that. They weren't buying it and kept trying to coax out the truth but I kept quiet. Finally they let it go saying if I needed them, they're there for me. I appreciated that they were looking out for me but I was never one to share my troubles with anyone and I didn't plan on starting that day. On the other hand every time you tried to talk to me I waved you off politely not letting you know what was going on. When I looked over to you during practice I found you looking back at me with a mixture of confusion and melancholy. I gave you a weak smile and you returned one with questions.

In the evening, when I looked down my window, I found you waiting for me outside. I wondered how long you had been there and why hadn't you knocked on the door. I immediately rushed downstairs and onto the road.

I stood in front of you silently, looking at the floor. My hoodie covered half of my forehead and the shadow of it somewhat hid the rest of my face. I could feel your eyes fixed in my direction but that didn't make me look up.

"Have you been here long?" I finally mumbled, still looking down and prodding the ground with my foot.

"No I just came a couple minutes ago. I wanted to talk to you." You answered. I remained silent.

Our moment of silence stretched to a couple more seconds before you finally spoke.

"Why have you been avoiding me for the last two days?" You directly asked without beating around the bush.

I remained quiet. I didn't know whether to tell you the truth or make up a lie. I was afraid you would think I was avoiding you for nothing. Maybe you would find my reason ridiculous. Yet I couldn't think up a lie so fast. Remember how I am not good with words?

"Riye?" You urged me to speak, your voice softer than before because you now had realized something was hurting me deep down and you had something to do with it.

"Did you mean it? The thing that you said the other day?" I finally blurted out.

"What do you mean?" You were confused.

"When Haruna joked about us being a couple, you said it was too ridiculous. Did you mean it?" I elaborated.

Your eyes widened upon hearing this as if you had finally connected the dots and figured out everything.

"You think I think less of you?" You spoke with a hint of shock in your voice. In response I just kept looking down, tears now flowing from my eyes. You put your hands on my shoulders and made me look at you. I looked up and saw a blur because of tears clouding my eyes. You wiped them with your thumbs and when my vision cleared I found you looking at me with a loving smile. You then continued,

"That day when Haruna startled us, I was just as surprised as you were and I just said whatever came to my mind first. I just wanted her to stop joking. I didn't mean any of it...I-I mean it's not like I've thought about it or anything but don't ever think you don't matter to me...because you do." I could see your cheeks had the faintest tint of pink and I could tell it was not easy for you to say all that since you weren't good with expressing yourself either. In return, I gave you a genuine smile because now I felt happy. I mattered to the one I cared about so much even though probably not in the same way but I was okay with it for now.

"Will you be okay?" You asked to make sure one last time.

I nodded in response. I felt silly for ever doubting our friendship and made a promise to myself to never think like that again.

A/n : Guys, if you like this story please don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT.I'd love to hear from you what you guys think of it so far. Please don't hesitate.