Case Closed (Hariana | H.S & A.G)

Part 46: I'm Still Here

"HARRY?" I exclaim as I look up to see my ex-boyfriend Harry Styles standing in the doorframe. What is he doing here? I think for a second before it hits me, he probably wants to talk about everything, or I guess yell at me about everything. I must have really screwed over his life. He must be furious but I guess I should've expected this. He deserves to yell at me and I deserve to take this, it'll help me recover hopefully. If I can get him to forgive me it's one less thing I have to live with.

"Hey. uhm- sorry I said I was Lorne, I just didn't know if you'd let me in if I said my real name" he admits and I nod my head nervously. I think I would let him in, he deserves to come and yell at me. He looks so good, a little tired but still so good, like always. Everyone loves him and he's a true star, I hate that I've put him in this position. "How are you?" he asks as he walks in.

"As good as I look" I joke as Harry takes a seat beside me. Joking has always been a natural defence mechanism for me, and right now I'm terrified. Besides, I'm not doing the best and I can't really lie about it, I really am as good as I look since I currently look like I've hit rock bottom. The room goes silent for a second and I decide to just get my apology in early to let him know that I'm sorry and am not just saying that for when he yells at me, I know that I'm in the wrong this time. "Harry I'm sorry. I really didn't want this to ever come out, really. I understand if you're mad at me but I promise I wasn't trying to hurt you" I admit.

"Ariana stop it" he frowns as he shakes his head and grabs my hand. He looks down at the 'fall risk' bandage on my wrist for a second, just examining it. I want to pull my hand away since I don't want him to forgive me out of sympathy but, I'm scared I might remove one of my tubes. "That's not why I'm here" he admits. I can't tell if he's being honest or just feels bad now after seeing me like this. Why else would he be here? "I'm not hurting you am I?" he asks as he looks down at my hand.

"No" I admit as I shake my head. I missed his touch, I'm surprised that's what I'm thinking about right now, what's wrong with me? "Harry I don't want you to feel sorry for me. If you came to yell at me it's okay, I deserve it" I admit as he looks back up at me, he's frowning once again. I stare into his eyes and he stares back into mine, I can't remember the last time we've been this close, the last time I looked into his beautiful green eyes.

"I'm not here to yell at you. Why would I yell at you?" he questions. Is he serious?

"Harry it's my fault my journal got leaked. I mean it isn't but, it's my fault the story of us is out there. I'm the idiot who decided to write everything down. I'm sorry for any backlash you're receiving" I admit. "Really, I'm sorry" I admit as I feel my eyes begin to water.

"Ariana if I didn't want this getting out I should never have signed the contract in the first place. It's no one's fault but my own, I can't be upset that it got out. You could've told people a long time ago, I still couldn't be mad at you. I get that this was an accident but even if it wasn't I would never hold it against you. If anything I'm sorry for dragging you into this" he admits looking clearly frustrated over my attempt to apologize.

"Can we just drop it for now then? I don't want to think about everything right now, it's really overwhelming" I admit. I still don't know if he's telling the truth but either way I don't like thinking about how my journal is out there for anyone and everyone to read, it's definitely not helping my recovery. I know I need to address it but it feels really overwhelming to think about for more than a few seconds at the moment.

"Okay" Harry says as he nods his head. "Let's switch to something... lighter?" he questions as he looks at me to see if that's what I want and I nod my head. The room goes silent for a moment once again as I look away from Harry. "So uh- what happened?" he asks clearly referring to my current condition and I quickly turn back to look at him as if he's insane, that's his suggestion for something light? "Sorry uhm-" be begins to backtrack which makes me laugh.