Case Closed (Hariana | H.S & A.G)

Part 40: Haunting Truth

Ariana's POV

How is it possible to go from feeling like you're on top of the world to just completely rock bottom in just a matter of hours? When I went to bed last night I was in a state of just pure bliss, last night felt perfect. Seeing Harry live out his dream on Saturday Night Live, I spent the night supporting him and celebrating with him. We were both so happy, and I was so in love with him, yet now that I've woken up my feelings have changed. And not in the sense that they've cooled down, they've just completely flipped. I'm not happy and I'm not in love with Harry. All my feelings, from his album to the idea that he's some giant flirt and womanizer are the only thing I can think of. What hurts the most is how everyone is loving his work, granted they've only heard two songs but I know the rest of his album will receive the exact same praise. It makes me feel stupid and worthless and I hate Harry for that. I hate him so much.

I don't think that I'm in a good place mentally anymore and I think it's because of Harry. I don't think I love him anymore and I need to let him go, as much as I want to take care of him, I need to take care of myself first. I don't think I can do them both at the same time.

"How many pancakes do you want?" I hear Harry ask once I enter my kitchen. We didn't get home until around 5am last night and so we've only just got up right now at 2p.m. Harry woke up a little bit earlier than me and decided to make breakfast which is nice. I'm glad I didn't have to wake up next to him.

"Just one" I shrug and without even looking up at him I know he's staring at me and frowning.

"That's it?" He questions since I don't say anything else. I was so happy last night he probably doesn't even realize how unhappy I am right now. I mean that kind of mood swing in just a few hours is rare.

"I'm not that hungry" I shrug as I sit and watch Harry place my one pancake in a plate and puts some maple syrup on it before he slides it to me. I wasn't lying when I said I'm not that hungry, although I think my mood is the real cause for my loss of appetite and Harry doesn't realize that.

"Alright love, let me know if you change your mind" he says with a smile as he makes a couple pancakes for himself. I should find this sweet, I should find him sweet. But I don't. I think he's sick, all I can think about is how he must've made dozens of pancakes for all those girls he's been with, if they spent the night he probably made them pancakes in the morning and now everything I did with him last night just makes me feel sick. Sick and disposable.

"What time is the game?" I ask. Harry's going to a Rangers game today with his manager Jeff and my friend and fellow coworker Michael.

"Not for a couple hours. Are you coming?" he asks and I shake my head, there's nothing I'd like more than to spend a couple hours away from Harry. I mean there's a part of me that just wants to kick him out of my life right here right now but I also know the best thing is to just take some time and think things through and be logical. I can't really just shove the door in his face, all his stuff is in here.

"I don't really want to" I admit and he nods his head.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asks. I'm trying to play it cool right now since I know I can't flat out just say no, even though that's exactly what popped into my mind.

"It's fine, I'm just kinda tired and I don't find hockey games entertaining. You should go, it's no big deal" I say with a smile to try and convince him that I'm still happy like I was last night. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to put up with all of this. I promised myself to stick around Harry and support him while he releases his album and does all the promo since I know how nerve racking it all is. I was planning on leaving him when all this dies down but that's gonna be a while, I mean I want to leave now and his album isn't even out yet! Besides, even after the album he'll have to do promo for his movie and it just feels like this is never gonna end. Or at least not for a couple months which is much more than I bargained for.