Case Closed (Hariana | H.S & A.G)

Part 24: Anything and Everything

Harry's POV

"Ow!" I hear Ari exclaim and I turn around to look at her. She was currently laying on my bed and I watch as she gently rubs the back of her head.

"What?" I ask, slightly concerned before I hear her begin to giggle.

"I hit my head against the bed frame" she whines which makes me laugh.

"Are you okay?" I ask and I can't help but chuckle as I walk over to her. I get on the bed and tower over her as I pull her closer to me and give her forehead a kiss before leaning down and kissing her lips. I love and respect Ari so much and she seems so much happier and healthier these days. I don't want to push her into doing anything she doesn't want to but I really think tonight might be the night we have sex and continue moving forward. I know Ari has been through a lot and I want to treat her right, from her mind to her body I want her to see she has nothing to be afraid of with me. Her kiss isn't as passionate as I expected it to be, I don't get it. How can she still be so reserved? "What's wrong?" I ask as I pull away and look into her eyes and she looks back into mine. She looks scared, she looks nervous and I don't know why.

"I-I can't do this" she sighs as she breaks eye contact with me like she's ashamed of her feelings.

"What? Why not Ari?" I ask. I don't know if I have the right to, I mean I don't know if she wants to tell me but this affects me as well. I want her, so bad. It hurts that she doesn't want me too.

"I'm just not ready" she admits and I let out a frustrated sigh. Why can't she be more specific? "Are you mad at me? I'm sorry Harry!" She exclaims.

"I don't get it. What have I not proven to you? I love you, I'm not gonna hurt you, I want to be with you. Why don't you want me?" I question since I think it's best I just say how I feel. Not knowing Ari's reasoning for her feelings stresses me out, so I just want to be able to let her know where I'm coming from since it's better than what she's giving me.

"I do! I do want you! You've proven yourself Harry I promise! I want you so bad but I- I still think about him. And not in a way that I want to be with him or anything, I just think about how much better you are than him but I'm still thinking about him and I don't want him my brain in any way during this. But you know what? Who cares? You deserve this, I'll do it for you" she says as tears fill her eyes. After hearing her side of things I immediately regret putting any sort of pressure on her, it's nice to know her thoughts but I shouldn't have pressed her.

"Ari stop. It's okay" I say and she shakes her head.

"No! Let's do this, seriously" she says as she wraps her leg around mine as she pulls herself closer to me. She's so hot, I want her so bad but I can't do this. This isn't how it's suppose to be, it feels like I'm taking advantage of her. I need to wait till she's ready and I now trust she'll know exactly when that is. "I want to make you happy" she says, there's tears in her eyes, I can tell how stressed her situation makes her, it makes me want to cry too but I have to stay strong for her.

"No, this isn't gonna make me happy, Ari stop. I don't care if we go months or even years, without sex, I don't care" I argue, I know- or at least assume it would never take that long but I have to drive my point home. I don't know if what I'm saying is true but I hope Ari gets what I'm trying to say. I grab her arms so she can't try and lift up my shirt or something, as much as I want her to know I'm okay not doing anything, she wants me to know that she is. I pull her closer to me before putting my arms around her as her hands are trapped by the space between her and my chest and she can't do anything but cuddle up with me. "This is all I want" I admit as I rub my hands up and down her back.

"I'm sorry" she whispers which breaks my heart. "I'm really trying" she admits, I wish I could just fix her and I can't. We stay like this for a while and I guess all her crying made her tired as she is now fast asleep and I'm hoping she can get a good night sleep.