Spilled Tea

A Letter

I forgive it all. The stomachaches. The texts lost between hours. You being the woman who did unforgivable things. If anything, you make my heart feel like a heart. Even now, I'd learn of your ghosts and I'd take them on myself. Once on a beach, I broke down when I saw the ocean. It reminded me of you. I forgive everything. The food that went bad too early in my stomach, the impatient drivers on those road trips, my peace of mind always leaving, you being the worst headache of my life. You live inside me everywhere I go, so that means you've been across the country by now. There's a love somewhere in between New York and Texas that is all yours and I hope one day you discover it. I want a playlist of all songs that I sang along to smiling because they were about you (I couldn't smile to them anymore). You have this odd ability to make my heart feel like one day it might find someone who makes me feel like you did. You've enhanced my writing. But then again, you've enhanced my entire life. I don't need all the pictures. I need the memories of us to stay with me until my last breath. You broke my heart, but don't worry. It has happened plenty of times before. I just want you to know I'll always remember you. I want to say I'll see you soon, but I'm not sure I'll ever see you again. I want a lifetime of travel for you. With this, you could go anywhere you'd like. This is what I want to leave with you so that you know I forgive it all, even if you are a million lifetimes away.