Spilled Tea

One Girl and Three Ghosts

For my first love:

Thinking back now,
all that remains is the shards
of the young, naive trust
of a girl who didn't know love,
or herself until she met you.
You hand-fed her twisted lies
just like the sour candy
in bed the night before
she left for the place
where she would ultimately
be destroyed:
and she still forgives you.
You are friends again
with the girl you
so carelessly
tore apart once before,
but don't be mistaken.
She can still smell the blood
on your hands and that is
one thing you won't be
able to wash off.

For the love with a sea in her eyes:

She has written you hundreds
of never-sent letters
and almost none of them
seem to scream loud enough
how it all felt.
How it felt when you still
had your arms wrapped
tightly around her,
when you talked her down
when the storms got too rough,
every time you made her smile
when no one else could,
and when you understandably
broke your promise
and left her to the wolves.
I have a message for you:
she forgave you for everything.
Her pieces secured themselves
when you hugged her once again
when she thought
she'd never see you again.
She has loved you more
than any of the others.
But don't be fooled.
She made friends
with those wolves
and they molded her
into a warrior like none
you could ever imagine.

For the ghost of someone dead:

It took her much too long
to realize that the moment
of glass shattering
and screeching tires
was the end of the person
you were before.
You didn't just change.
The person you were just...died.
The girl now wishes
that instead of trying
to bring you back to life,
she would have had
some sort of funeral
and left you with whatever
unhealthy peace you had
found within yourself.
There is something
you must know.
That girl is not the one
who kneeled before you
once in the past.
She isn't the girl
you ripped to shreds
and still loved you
like you were some
sick demi-god.
You still come around sometimes,
but I give you a word of warning:
she wishes for none of your pity.
She gives you hers
for the death of someone
who would have actually
become something
worth fighting for.
She is a warrior
and despite your knowledge,
she is more than capable
of standing on her own.
Rest in peace.