Spilled Tea

I Once Was Your 'Pretty Girl'

You are chaos to my soul.

You are everything
I've looked for,
yet you do not want me.

You are the
devastating landslide
of all my hopes
and your words are
the knives inside of them.

The butterflies in my stomach
do not belong there anymore.

They no more flutter,
but instead rake my insides
to find a way out.

You blame this on my age,
but I have experienced
more heartbreak
than most do in a lifetime.

You blame this on distance,
yet you love on girls
that are just as far.

What was I to you
all this time?

I wonder if I was not
beautiful enough
to meet your standards.

Your actions
contradict your words
and I am stuck
in the chaos of you.

But,
through all this time
and through all
this destruction,

I love you
I love you
I love you.