Spilled Tea

Today

Pretty scenes,
Canadian mountains
in the distance,
and trees and flowers
as far as the eye can see.
It's cold here.
Never have I ever wanted
to show someone a place
as bad as I want
to show you this.
We could wear those sweaters
we both love here.
It's like this all summer long,
and I think you would love that.
It feels like fall and there are tons
of little coffee shops in parking lots
that sell the best warm drinks.
Today I learned that maybe
I should do what you do
and stay away from
the actual coffee.
I'm not sure a church service
has ever felt as long as
the one today did while the caffeine
ripped through my veins.
Wringing my hands
and sucking on a mint,
I realized that I probably
would have gotten that 'look'
from you for drinking
coffee anyways (this made me
smile because your motherly
instincts show that you care).

Today my heart and mind
were taken out of my body
and mutilated when his hands
forced themselves on my body.
I reacted in such a way that
I didn't think I'd ever
feel alright again.
Rainy skies,
pacing through grass
with my mind far away,
and your words keeping
me grounded.
I know I don't 'need' anyone,
but I don't think I've ever
felt the need for someone
as bad as I did you in that moment.
I needed your voice to talk me down
and you were there.
You were there and there's nothing
I could ever do to repay you for that,
but I promise that I'll try to
in every minute I'm with you.
Today I realized that you'd love
a place like this as much as I do,
but this one is tainted.
Today I've decided that I'll
one day find a place like this
and we can maybe go there.
We can take a road trip there
and see it as a beautiful thing,
just like this place used to be.