The Professor

Thirty-three

I've been on the pill since I was sixteen due to my irregular period. Ever since then, I've not missed a day. I'll admit, Dean and I didn't always use a condom, which could be the problem.

Unless. . .it's not Dean's.

The only way to find out for sure if there even is a baby is to buy a test.

The elevator opens for me. I step in and press the first button.

I take a deep breath, silently praying that I am not pregnant. I'm definitely not ready for a baby. I'm not even dating right now. I can't raise a baby, but I don't want to abort him or her either.

I press my face into my palms with a sigh. Dean can't know about this. Neither can Aaron. Not unless I really am pregnant, which I hope to God that I'm not.

The elevator stops at the fourth floor, allowing the doors to open to a tall body. Dean's grin flinches when he sees me. He steps in and stands beside me.

I swallow hard, trying hard to act natural like I'm not hiding the fact that I could be pregnant. I stay quiet.

Dean glances down at me. "When are you going to be honest with me already?"

"What?" I panic as I pinch my jeans.

Is this a test? Does he know about the possible baby?

"When will you admit that you love me?" His expression is serious.

I exhale. "I can't admit something that's not true." My arms fold.

He's still not over this. He's definitely not making this any easier.

He glares at me momentarily. "What has happened to you? All of a sudden you just hate me for no reason?" He steps closer. "Well, I'm not buying it. What are you trying to hide?"

"I'm not hiding anything." I snap a little bit too fast.

"Yes you are, otherwise, we would be together. Is it something I did? Just tell me." He pleads.

I shake my head while avoiding eye contact. "Feelings change."

"I know that's not the reason." He growls, leaning closer to me. "Look at me." He snaps.

I switch my glare towards him. "You. You are the problem, Dean. Right now is a good example of your stubborn behavior." I hiss.

The doors slide open to the first floor. I walk out before he can say anything. He follows me.

"You're lying." He growls while stomping behind me.

I push my purse up more onto my shoulder as I ignore him. He's starting to get real annoying. Why won't he just give up already?

"Would you just stop?" His hand pulls me back.

I turn to face him. "Give up, Dean." I snarl. "I'm done with you. There's no changing my mind."

His nostrils flare. "Stop doing this."

"We're not together anymore. I don't have to listen to you!" I bark. "God! Stop being so stubborn. Go home." I turn my back and head out of the main entrance.

I don't hear a word from him.

* * *

I think today is the first time I've been under this wonderful tree twice. I came here to clear my mind, as I always do. Just to think, this morning I thought I had it all figured out. Now, I'm too anxious to open the pregnancy test box I just bought. I'm not ready for the truth. . .if the truth is that I am pregnant.

It would have to be Dean's, right? It seems logical. I've slept with him the most, but not recently. . .like Aaron. Either way, I can't have a baby. I'm definitely not ready.

What if it is Dean's? What if we decide to keep the baby? Do we get back together to live a terrible relationship? Both Dean and the baby would be miserable.

Please tell me that I'm not pregnant.

What if it's Aaron's? We both are best friends. Sure, we had a one night stand, but no feelings were involved. There's no way that he and I can raise a baby together.

I sigh while resting my head against the tree. My eyes close.

I have to take that test. It's the only way to find out.

"There you are." A light voice startles me. "I've been looking for you."

I open my eyes to see Julie. She welcomes me with a warm grin.

"Did you take the. . .you know. . .test?" She sits down in front of me.

  After I came to the conclusion that I may be pregnant this morning, I explained the situation to Julie. I had to. She knows everything now. Even about Dean and Aaron.

I shake my head. "I'm nervous."

She nods her head at the ground. "I understand that it's a complicated thing to deal with, but you're going to have to face it sooner or later."

I huff. "I know. I just don't know what to do if I really am pregnant. I'm not ready for a child, Julie." My voice pouts.

She places her hand on my shoulder. "I think you can face any challenge. However, this is your choice. So listen to your gut." She grins while removing her hand.

"My gut is saying to put him or her up for adoption rather than to abort or keep the baby. The only problem with that is I'd just hate to walk around pregnant." My stomach tingles with fear at the thought. I focus on my breathing.

"I think that you know exactly what to do. In the end, you'll make the best choice, even if you are pregnant." She grins.

"You're pregnant?" Dean appears behind Julie.

My mouth opens as I stand. I glance at Julie, who has that awkward look on her face. "I'll leave you two to it." She turns away quickly and lightly jogs away.

Thanks, Julie.

Dean glares at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I just found out this morning. Besides, If I am pregnant, I won't keep the baby." My fingers brush my hair back.

"What if I wanted to?" He folds his arms as he squints from the sun.

I suck my lips in at the ground. "We're not together."

"We could raise it together, Rosie." He chuckles. "We could be great parents."

My gaze meets his. "I'm not ready. I can't have a kid."

He chews the inside of his cheek. "This child could bring us together. " His voice is soft.

I roll my eyes. "No, it wouldn't. It's too early to have a baby, Dean. If anything, it would tear us apart." I then add, "Besides, I didn't take the test yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

  He watches me momentarily. "Fine. Let's go take the test then. Right now." He grabs my wrist.

"What?" I panic. I planned on taking the test, but not at this moment. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready.