Anywhere, Any Time, at Any Cost

Chapter 8: The truth hurts

In the evening, I write to Evie, that I really wanna meet her.

''We'll meet soon.'' She writes.

''But you have to be patient. You know that I don't have time right now.''

I do know, and I respect her. Even more, I love her. Which is why I would wait for her forever.

She told me that she has a younger brother, Nick, who is sick. He has asthma, and has to be really careful. Their dad travels a lot and is rarely home, and their mom mostly deals with Nick. That's why Evie is often lonely, and goes online. She says she is very fortunate to have found me. Apparently, I'm the best thing that has happened to her in a long time. Actually ever.

''I'll wait for you. But promise me, we'll meet soon.'' I write.

''I promise.'' She writes back adding a winky face.

I go offline and close my computer. I can't fall asleep, for many reasons. I think about Evie, about Elli and about Ashley. I'm afraid of what she'll do to me tomorrow. What she'll say that'll hurt me. How she'll make my hell worsen.

My fears are justified the next day, when she walks over to me, like every day and bullies me. I'm used to it, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me. I know I shouldn't give her power, I should ignore her, but it's really hard. I'm weak and Ashley knows it. She uses it to her advantage.

She finds me in the bathroom and presses me against the wall. But this time it's different. She has darker intentions and I can see it in her eyes. Her ugly, dark eyes are staring into mine, when she says:''I think it's time you knew the truth. The truth about you precious Elliott.''

I look at her confused and scared of what she's about to say about my only real friend.

''He never liked you, you know. He never even wanted to talk to you. It was all just a stupid bet. He lost anyway, but it was just a bet.'' She hisses at me.

With a puzzled look and my flinching eyes I say:''What? What are you talking about?''

She smiles ominously and gives me a look that sends shivers down my spine.

''Yeah, your darling Elliott is nothing more than a liar. He betrayed you. He's been deceiving you all this time. 5 long years he's been lying to you.''

''No, you're the one who's lying.'' I say furiously.

But her smile widens and she says:''No, I'm not. We made a bet back then, that Elliott would make the freak of the school fall in love with him. You were the perfect choice. A weirdo, who was lost and probably very naive. Plus you were a lesbo, which made the challenge even harder. If he made you fall in love with him and then dumped you, he could take me to the school ball. So you see, it was never about you, it was about me. He wanted to have me, not you. But he lost the bet, because he obviously couldn't make you fall in love with him. You were just to much into girls, uhh, disgusting. But I spared him and took him to the ball anyway. I just don't know why he kept hanging out with you and left me. You were a nobody, a sick weirdo, but I was the love of his life. And I still am, I know it. You've just put a spell on his delicate, little hart. He's totally enchanted by you, but I'll get him back, you'll see. Soon, he'll realise that I'm the one for him, not you. That stupid bet. We should've never made it in the first place. You stole him from me, but I'll get him back. He's mine, you hear me. Mine.''

I stand there, shocked because of all the information. Elliott never really liked me, it was all a bet. I got my only friend because of a bet.

I clear my mind and try to protest:''You're lying. You just want to make me feel more terrible. And for the record, you're a sick weirdo. And you're the witch too, not me.''

She smiles and says:''It's all true. Just ask him, he can't keep it a secret forever.''

I look at the floor, ashamed. How could I have fallen for such a sick joke? I'm so stupid.

''Are you sad? Your best friend doesn't care about you and never has. It was all just a lie. I can't imagine how that must feel like. Betrayal must hurt a lot.''

I look at her, with tears in my eyes, but also rage. ''If everything you've just told me is true, then you can have him. I never wanted him, we were never more than friends. But now we're over. He's all yours.''

My heart aches as I say those words, but I feel wrath and rage. I am so mad at Elliott. For some reason, I believe Ashley, for as evil as her eyes look, they are not lying.

She leaves, laughing and my heart drops. I feel tears just waiting to burst out and I let them. I collapse to the floor, lean against the wall and hug my knees. My head rests on my thighs as a flood of tears just rolls down my face, onto my clothes. They're all wet, but I don't care. I can only think of one thing.

I take out my razor, and put it against my wrist. I've never done it at school, but at the moment I don't really care. I don't care about the blood that will stay behind or about the mess I'm about to do. I don't even care if somebody catches me doing it.

I don't care, because the emotional pain is too big. It hurts too much and I have to do it. So I cut without looking, as hard as I can.