Anywhere, Any Time, at Any Cost

Chapter 18: I might be saying goodbye

I can't fall asleep that night and the next day at school I'm nervous and scared. I'm thinking about it all the time and Elliott notices something isn't right. So at lunch he asks if everything is OK. I don't answer him, because I don't even hear him. He asks again, and that's when I finally 'wake up'.

''Kacey, are you OK? What's going on? You seem ... distant.'' He says, clearly worried.

''What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, don't worry.'' I try to shrug it off, but he doesn't want to.

''Are you sure? You look very worried and ... scared.'' He ads.

I look at him and give him a smile. ''I'm just worried about the meeting. How it's gonna go, if we're gonna get them. I just ... I need her to be OK, you know. I love her.''

He looks to the floor and says:''Yeah, I get it. I know how it is when you want to protect someone so badly you'd do anything for them. Cause you love them so much.'' 

He looks at me with his big eyes and I immediately know what he's talking about. I sigh and say:''Elli, we've been through this, you know how I feel about you...''

''Yeah, yeah, I know. But just like you can't help yourself, I can't help myself either. I can't change my feelings for you. I love you and I always will, no matter what.'' He says with sad eyes, but a comforting  smile.

I smile back and say:''Elli, don't say that. One day you're gonna fall out of love and you're gonna meet someone else and fall back in love with her.''

He looks at me again and this time I see desperation in his eyes. He shakes his head and says:''I don't know, I don't think so. Even if I meet someone else, I'll never love anyone the same as I love you. Not as much as I love you. Not the same way.''

''Of course you will.'' I say, although I actually think he's right. I know how much he loves me, I love him too. Just in a different way. But I know that this kind of love is irreplaceable. 

I hug him around his shoulders and we both smile. Then I feel the need to say something:''But Elli, you have to know something. I love you too OK? Just in a different way. I love you so much. I'll always love you too, no matter what. Don't ever forget that.''

He smiles and says:''I won't.''

His head is so close to mine, that his lips almost touch mine. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I feel an inexplicable need to kiss him. Something is pulling me towards him, toward his lips.

I almost lean in to kiss him, when someone laughs very loud and I flinch. I move away from Elliott awkwardly and he moves away from me. We both know what was about to happen and I'm praying nobody saw it. I can't have people throwing more speculations at me.

I clear my throat and say:''I have to go to the toilet.''

I don't understand why I sometimes feel so weird when I'm around him. And I sure as hell don't understand what just happened. What I felt when we were so close to each other. But right now, I have more important things to think and worry about. Like tonight.

When the time to go finally arrives, I'm very nervous and scared. What if something goes wrong? And how will I save her? Will she be there because she escaped him? Or maybe it's all just a trap and he'll be waiting for me there. 

I go to dad's cabinet to talk to him. 

''Dad, I'm going out with Elliott. We're probably gonna hang at his place for some time, maybe go to the movies.'' I'm so nervous I start to explain the details, but I quickly stop.

Dad nods and says:''OK, but be back by 11. And take care of yourself.''

I nod and say:''OK, I will.''

I want to go, but I turn around, run over to him and tell him:''I love you so much dad.''

He hugs me back and says:''I love you too sweetheart.''

When I look into his eyes I see peace and strength and it gives me courage to do what I must do tonight.

I smile and he smiles back. Then I leave.

When I get to the park it's already dark and there's nobody there, except a runner and a couple holding hand. I sit on a bench and watch the runner disappear behind the dark trees. The couple sits on a bench, but soon leaves.

I wait. I wait 10 minutes. I wait 20. I wait half an hour. Nothing much is going on in the park. It's so silent, you could hear a mouse. Then a van parks on the other side of the park, but nobody comes out. 

I'm cold and scared and I start to regret my decision. What if it was all a joke or something and Evie will never even come?

I'm shivering when my phone beeps. Evie writes me:''I'm here.''

I write back:''Where? I've been waiting for half an hour.''

''I know, I'm sorry. I had some problems, but now I'm here.''

''Yeah, but where Evie? I can't see you.''

''I think I see you. Wait.''

I look around, but see no one. Not a single soul. The van is still parked at the side of the park, but that is also the only sign of life. If I can call it that.

If she's here, I should probably be able to see her.

My phone beeps again and I look. I open our chat and she writes:''I'm right behind you.''

The message sends shivers down my spine and I slowly turn around. There's no one there and I'm so scared that I'm relieved nobody's there. 

I turn back around and that's when I see a man standing in front of me. I feel a blow to my head and than darkness surrounds me.