Anywhere, Any Time, at Any Cost

Chapter 24: Is Jessica OK?

They can't be gone. She can't be gone. I escaped only to leave her with that sick son of a bitch. What if we never find her? It's all my fault. Tears fill my eyes and they start to darken. I can't see clearly anymore and I feel myself fainting. I feel strong hands catch me I look up to see Elliott holding me. It's the last thing I see before I faint completely.

I wake up in a hospital and immediately think of Jessica. What will he do to her now? God, it's all my fault.

I tell the cops everything,including the fact that she's ill. They promise they'll do everything in their power to save her, but I doubt it. What can they really do? How can they save her now? They don't even know where she is. I wanna help,so I tell them everything that happened. I don't leave out any details.

I feel guilty, and I often feel like crying. When I'm alone, I do. But once Elliott sees me, he hugs me and tells me it's gonna be OK. I hug him even tighter and tell him:"It's my fault. It's all my fault. If she dies..."

Elliott holds my cheek and says:"No, don't say that. It's not your fault, you hear me? It's his fault. That son of a bitch... I'll kill him, I swear to god. And she won't die. She'll be alright. It's gonna be OK."

"When I ran and I was losing strength, thinking about you gave me new strength. I thought about you and felt stronger and braver." I say and he smiles.

I say:"We're gonna be together forever right?"

He smiles,looks me in the eyes and says:"Anywhere, any time, at any cost." I nod,close my eyes and feel that strange feeling again. This time it's leading, almost pushing me to do something. I feel safe,grateful and in love with Elliott and I complete this feeling by kissing him. This time it's me who kisses him and it's amazing. For a moment I forget about the guilt and Jessica and focus on me and Elliott. It's beautiful and I wish it never ended. But it has to.

I pull away from him and say:"Sorry."

"Don't apologise."

"This doesn't mean anything though." I say and he looks to the floor and nods.

"I know." He says sadly.

The next day I can go home, but I feel terrible. Emotionally, I mean. My heart hurts,because I know,I might have lost Jessica. I can't stand it, it hurts too much.But I don't cut myself or hurt myself,but rather cry all day. In Elliott's arms.

I want to help, but dad doesn't let me. Plus he says I've helped them with everything I could. There's nothing more I can do, he says.

But I want to do something. I want to help, but I can't. I feel useless and guilty. And it's destroying me.

''What if they don't find her?'' I tell Elliott, but he caresses my hair and says:''They'll find her. I'm sure.''

''How can you be sure? How can you know?''

''I just know. Because I choose to believe so.'' He says and I decide I'm gonna do the same. I choose to believe they'll find them, save Jessica and put that pervert behind bars. 

The next day I go to school. I don't have to go, but I choose to, because lying in bed at home, feeling sorry for myself, won't help me. I have to do something and if that means going to school so be it. Elliott is with me the whole day, protecting me. Ashley doesn't come near us and I'm surprised. Despite all, I didn't think she'd give up this quickly. I guess she isn't as bad as as she says after all.

Other students look at me as usually, but now I see something else in their looks. Sure, some of them still think I'm weird or a freak, and some feel sorry for me. But in some eyes I see... respect. Some people look at me with respect, something I never new from other people. I'm even more surprised when a girl comes up to me and says:''Hey, you're Kacey, right? I heard what you went through and wanted to say I'm sorry. Thank god you're alright. Anyway, I wanted to say I think you're really brave and strong and I kinda admire you. We could hang out sometime if you'd like.''

I stare at her for a few moments, but when she says:''Kacey?'' I flinch and say:''Uh, yeah, sure, we can hang out. Thanks by the way.''

She nods, smiles and go. Elliott whispers to my ear:''I see you're getting friend requests. Nice.''

I nod, look at him and we both smile. 

But despite everything, I still can't stop thinking about Jessica. By the end of the week there is no news and I'm getting more and more worried. I know the chances of finding her are getting smaller with every second. 

But then during the weekend, when we're eating lunch, the phone rings. Dad picks up, says something and looks at me. I immediately know it's about Jessica. But from his face expression I can't really say whether it's god or bad news.

He says:''They found her.''

I wait for him to say dead or alive. I'm full of expectations, full of hope, but at the same time worry. It all fades away, when he says:''Alive.''

I feel happy and relieved. Jessica is OK. She's safe and sound and I can finally see her in normal circumstances.