A Railgun in Fairy Tail Book 4: Royal Bloodlines

Spiders Hate Eating Handsome Men

"Men.....Oh the beautiful women I have seen, how all of them have danced before my eyes with ever rippling wonder.." said Ichiya. "But this one female.....IS HIDEOUS BEYOND MEASURE!!!"

Ichiya was hanging upsidedown in a dark alleyway, wrapped in webs as Arachnis Widower clicked her pincers and crawled along the walls eying the mage.

"Click click...you have quite the strange body for a human...click click.." said Arachnis. "You look like the combination between a handsssome man...click click...and an ugly baby...click...click... I think  I will call you...Man Baby."

"No!" said Ichiya. "I refuse to accept such a name, especially from a woman who in no way looks like a woman...men!"

"Click click...why would I want to look like a filthy human girl!?" said Arachnis indignantly. "That putrid smooth skin...that unnatural curvy figure......the smell of assorted sweet fruit in their hair thanks to the abomination known as shampoo!!"

"Ahhh..." said Ichiya dreamily. "You have described Ms. Misaka perfectly...or Erza..It could be whichever..Men..."

"You really are a little pervert.." said Arachnis letting out a hissing laugh. "Click Click! It's too bad your subordinates aren't awake to see this.."

Arachnis pointed a furry tarantula leg at the two human sized web cocoons that were stuck to the wall of the alley.

"They are strong...men." said Ichiya. "They will escape!"

"Well conssssidering you are their leader, and leaderssss tend to be the sssstrongessst.." said Arachnis with a chuckle. "I would say thissss issss too easy....I wassss never one to judge basssed on a sssingle encounter....but you are quite weak...click click...

"Don't underestimate us...men.." said Ichiya. "We are of course, the strongest mages in Blue Pe-"

Arachnis spat a web glob from her mouth which went splatt right onto Ichiya's mouth.

"Ohh..would you jussss shut up! Click click!!" said Arachnis. "You have absssolutely no business talking you sssstrange Man Baby!! Click click!"

As Arachnis continued to complain about Ichiya, a little spot in the back of Ichiya's webbed body near his restrained hands began to wriggle until a small vile shifted through the webs. The vile fell to the ground and smashed apart, letting a scent flow through the area.

Arachnis immediately screamed and fell to the ground, curling up in a ball like position. "WWWHHHHHAAATTTT!!!?? WHAT IS THISSSSS!?"

There was a hissing sound, and the webs melted off of Ichiya and he landed on the ground and dusted himself off. "Men...it's a good thing I brought both my parfum of pain and parfum of decomposition with me...or this would have turned unfavorable."

Ichiya moved quickly  to the other two web cocoons and poured some of a substance he had in another vile. The webs immediately decomposed and Ren and Eve both burst out coughing.

"I think I almost suffocated..." said Eve. "Thank you Ichiya sensei!"

"I knew she might try to ambush us...men..so I kept myself prepared."

"Speaking of which." said Ren. "Where'd she go?"

The threesome turned to look where Arachnis had been before...but she had dissapeared.

"Men?" said Ichya. "But how could she could have shaken off my parfum of pain so easily?!"

Suddenly, there was a massive crack in the ground and humungous spider legs smashed outwards. Ichiya and the others leapt out of the way as Arachnis burst out of the ground spitting madly. "Foolisssh humans! My body becomes immune to different poisons after one dose...My body wassss built for ssssurvival!! CLICK CLICK!!!"