Sanders Sides One-Shots

Gone Gone Gone Gone...

This was written before Accepting Anxiety Prt. 2

Warnings: Self-hatred, verbal abuse

Ship (if any): None

It was a normal night, just like any other. Patton had dragged all of the others down to do a movie marathon of every single Disney film we owned. I was surprised when he took me down too, but I didn't mention that to him. It would probably hurt his feelings. Popcorn and cookies were spread out on the coffee table like some sort of luxury buffet as we sat on the couch, waiting as Logic put in Atlantis: The Last Empire. One of my personal favorites, but don't tell Roman that. He and Logic would probably never let me live it down.

And yeah, in case you were wondering, this is Anxiety. You're inside my head right now. Weird, huh? It's not nearly as dark and gloomy in here as some might expect, is it? See, I'm not all gloom and doom as many people think that I am. I can be happy. Sometimes. And I like Disney, and not just because of the dark meanings behind them (although, that does make them more entertaining). A-Anyways, movie night.

Logan crammed between me and Patton, sighing before resting his head on my shoulder in defeat and whispering, "As soon as Princey and Morality get into it, I'm bolting. Too much to do today." I snickered and nodded in agreement, my eyes flickering over to the staircase. So close, but so far away...

"Shut up, it's starting!" Roman hissed, pressing a finger to his lips, winking playfully to show us he was kidding, and turning back to the tv with an eager smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and Logic's lips twisted upwards slightly in a small smile. Everything was nice for once... No one was complaining about me being here; I'd actually gotten invited this time. I hesitated before putting an arm around Logan and resting my head on Roman's shoulder who was sitting right next to me. It was so nice. I should have known it wouldn't last long.

"Ugh, why do you always have to ruin everything!" Roman sneered, shoving me back against the wall. I cowered slightly, sliding down the wall and holding my hands up to protect myself as Princey glared down at me, his eyes narrowed and his arms folded across his chest. All I'd said was that I thought Hans was a misunderstood guy. He was such a drama queen!

"G-Guys, let's go back to the movie! We were having so much..." Patton immediately shut up when Roman glared at him so viciously I thought the fatherly trait was going to burst into tears. And that pissed me off. Princey could mess with me all he liked, but he could not, would not make such a sweet, caring person like Morality cry. I got to my feet, balling my fists and smiling coolly at Roman, a silent invitation for him to back off.

"Oh, what are you going to do, you emo spastic? Hit me?" Roman said, scoffing. I growled and drew back my fist. He was so asking for it. Logic and Morality both cried out in surprise and Logan grabbed my raised arm, trying to pull me away from Princey towards the stairs. I shoved him off, but made no move to make an advance at Roman. The wanna-be-Royal laughed and shook his head, snickering.

"Go on, Anxiety. You're not needed here anyways," Princey said all too cheerfully, waving towards the stairs. "Come to think of it, we never really need you. You're just a dark, worthless waste of space. You're just the bad guy," Roman said scathingly, and I flinched.

This wasn't happening this wasn't happening it couldn't be happening... Roman's face suddenly twisted into a snarl and he pushed me back, making me fall against the stairs and smack my head against the railing. I gasped in slight pain and touched my fingers to the back of my head. When I pulled them away again, there was blood. The color drained from my face and I scrambled to my feet, running up the stairs.

"That's right! Run away, you useless monster!!"

No no no no no no....

I slammed the door to my room closed and fell to the floor, a crumpled mess as I sobbed pathetically. I could hear Logan and Patton shouting downstairs, and I curled up tighter, clamping my hands over my ears when I heard a loud crash. This was all my fault. I was making them fight. Roman hated me. The others didn't try to stop him. They all hated me, oh my God... My palms started to sweat and I grabbed my hair, my eyes wild as my breathing started to become louder and more frantic.

He called me a monster... I'm a monster... Oh my God, I'm hurting Thomas, I thought to myself, a few tears slipping down my cheeks as my lip began to quiver. I'd always thought that Thomas would be better off without me, but now I know. No one cares about me. I scrambled to my feet and stumbled over to my bed, collapsing on top of it and letting myself sob and scream into my pillow.

Well, if they didn't want me, they weren't going to get me. I'd stay here in my room. I can't bother anybody else up here. Not even Thomas...