Sanders Sides One-Shots

Trust

Me? Projecting into a fic? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ha.

ha.......

yup, it's happening.

The poem in this is written by me as well as the story.

Fandom(s): Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, YouTube

Warnings: Self-deprecation, self-hatred, referenced self-harm, real-life issues, based on real-life experiences, loss of trust, heartbreak

Ship(s): Platonic Prinxiety

Human!Highschool!AU

Virgil bit into his crappy school burger, eyes glancing over to Roman as he took the attendance for choir class. Every since...the incident, Roman had always been there for Virgil. They'd started talking, gotten to know each other a little bit. Virgil was starting to think they might actually me becoming friends. He should have known better, shouldn't he? Virgil quickly shook his head and blinked back tears, finishing his lunch before grabbing his music folder, nearly having to push Roman out of the way to do so, and quickly rushed to the risers. Surrounded by older, more talented choir members, he felt out of place. Unwanted. Roman had put a stop to that, made him feel like he actually mattered, but all good things had to come to an end.

Virgil could feel tears welling up in his eyes as Roman came up around from behind the risers, smiling and hugging his friend Tina before taking his usual spot beside Virgil in the bass section. The anxious boy closed his eyes, praying that Roman would somehow acknowledge him. A small hello, a playful punch, a smile, anything would do, but Roman just got out his music and ignored the boy, just like he had before...

Before Virgil had told him everything. About the cuts, the old scars, about how he was the only one Virgil believed he could trust, how he had looked up to him since he was twelve years old...before he knew that Virgil even existed. He could feel tears slowly dripping down his cheeks and he quickly wiped them away. Virgil thought that Roman's eyes flickered his way in a short glance of concern, but he knew he was just imagining it. His heart caught in his throat and more tears got ready to fall. He couldn't open his mouth to sing because if he did, he knew he would start sobbing.

Virgil pushed his way past Roman and Tina, ignoring a few of the Sopranos' concerned glances (bless their kind souls), and slid his hand into his pocket, fingers trembling as they grazed over the sharp, merciful thumbtack that waited patiently there.

Not yet. There are better ways. NOTEBOOK. NOW, Virgil's thoughts, now in Roman's voice, screamed at him. Virgil muffled sobs and withdrew his hand from his pocket, collapsing in a chair behind the risers, shoulders shaking as he cried. Grabbing his notebook from the table where he'd set it earlier and taking a pen out of his pocket, Virgil angrily scribbled down his thoughts, doing his best to keep his writing coherent.

When I met you I felt alive
Like I could fly and reach the stars
But now you've left me brokenhearted
To deal with pain and grief alone

I let myself trust you with my darkest thoughts
But I was so stupid, so desperate
No one cared about me before
I should have known you were no different

Thanks to you my trust is broken
And I'll just keep to myself
Hiding my thoughts and feelings like and I should have
And leave everyone alone

Virgil stared at the short poem for a moment, sniffling and wiping the last few tears that trailed down his cheeks. Next time, he would avoid these feelings. Next time, he'd just give himself the punishment he deserved and not whine about it to someone else. He knew now that no one would be trusted.

Closing the notebook calmly, Virgil stood, walking slowly back to the risers, ready to face the world alone.