My Infinite Oblivion

Betrayal (LS)

This chapter is dedicated to one of my fantabulous friends Lauren Stynes who gave me the idea for this chapter. Thanks Laur :)

Right. Betrayal. This is serious.

It obviously is the opposite to loyalty, trust, etc. and it sickens me, but do you know what? That means me, myself, that I'm breaking loyalty and betraying myself, because I can do a bit of betraying myself. To be honest, and not to cause offence, but I've never a met a person decent enough to stay loyal to what they say. I feel like a ratbag when I'm talking to someone and they're gossiping and I WANT to stop, I WANT to walk away, I WANT to slap them and punch them and scream at them to stfu but I CAN'T. I'm too weak-willed to do that, so I just smile and nod and agree, and obviously I feel terrible and hating myself and hating them and wanting to turn back the clock and take it all back and do what I WANTED to do in the first place but that's not going to make a difference. That's life. Not coincidental. Literally human's cruel nature. Of course, as this is the subject of Betrayal and you are probably wondering where the hell I'm going with this, then I go to the person that the other person was talking about and gossip about that person along with a raft of other people that happen to be in the worst luck to have our unforgiving, cruel, relentless eyes land on them. Wow.

Betrayal is when you fool one person into thinking that you respect them, and then you go and turn around and stab them in the back. I know it's happened to me to many times to do any serious damage to my football-sized ego and my self-respect, but this isn't a pathetic sob story. I know, more times than I can tell, that I've gone and betrayed someone, and not always in a bitchy, gossiping way. there are always something I do that makes me want to kms for doing.

I guess this chapter is about one of my most regrets. It's basically my brief, indirect, cowardly way of apologizing. I'm so sorry.