My Infinite Oblivion

Unrealistic Fictional Wattpad Characters

Lately, I've been lazily browsing stories to read on Wattpad, and one thing I've read in the many chick-flick books, is the annoying copycat undeveloped characters.

Dear God.

Some people are so desperate to write a love story they literally don't even seem to think about how it all fits together logically. There is one thing that keeps popping up for the boys and these days as soon as I read the description it's sooooo predictable what's going to happen.

"Omigod, you like totes kissed me and I love you so much omg omg omg!!1!!11! 2 secs lemme change meh Facebook status k lulz ly bby" Louisianna-Rosanna-Jessica softly whispered, her beautiful, bright blue ORBS (another story) staring into Chase-Ryder-Flynn's deep blue ones.

Chase-Ryder-Flynn's breath hitched. "I can't do this," he told Louisianna-Rosanna-Jessica, swallowing as he reminisced the days of the First World War because apparently he and every other fictional character has a photographic memory and without a doubt is actually Doctor Who traveling in time because they seem to know everything... obviously.

Louisianna-Rosanna-Jessica halted, her perfect long fingernails inches away from the screen of her fifth brand-new iPhone 5C with the magical case that only exists in fictional worlds even though it's meant to be realistic. "What? Bby, if ur uncomfortable I don't have to put it on my twitter lulz xx"

"No." His perfect, melting, chocolate-coated voice (EVERY. SINGLE. BOOK. HOW IS THAT LOGICAL SMH) stopped her in her tracks. "I can't."

"Why?"

Chase-Ryder-Flynn stared into the distance. "Something happened ten years ago, and I can't tell you. if I did this to another girl as I did to Queen Cleopatra on that fateful day, I would never be able to forgive myself."

Okay, maybe I overreacted a little. But honestly, that's a summary of everything you would find, if maybe a little exaggerated. Also, the boy in question with the cute name 'can't get into a relationship' because of one thing he did years ago when they are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS players. s2g. Jayzus, man, if you're gonna be preventing yourself from hurting women then what must one-night-stands feel like to the girls? especially as you're the hottie of the entire school and they're all out to get you? And seriously, don't be so selfish: there's your poor mum all excited to be a grandmother and then there's you teasing her with the creaking upstairs. And honestly, don't pull the Moving-Out-Of-House card on me, these kids are barely seventeen. And what about your future? You think your parents are going to find you a suitor to cool and clean for you? Or are you actually going to make an effort in your remaining years of high school because it sure doesn't seem like it.

So okay, maybe that's enough for today. But I was reading this book which had the exact same story line with at least ten or so books in my library. Waste if space. Too predictable, those sorts. I'm happy here curling up in the corner like a hobo and finding new fandoms while reading of the supernatural and totally cute ships who actually make an effort with their relationships instead of whining about how that dress makes your butt big and worrying if you're being cheated on because the other one came home ten minutes late when let me repeat: SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. HIGH SCHOOL B*TCHES.