Casual Affair || Brallon

I'm no cry baby but you make me cry lately

*5 years later*

Dallon's POV:

I'm getting released from prison tomorrow. The only reason I've been able to survive these past five years in lock up was seeing stories of my beautiful Brendon and his band Panic! At The Disco in the news. He has probably moved on to far better people. I thought Brendon and Ryan had gotten together. I was so happy when Ryan left the band with Jon. I was starting to get jealous of him.

"So he is the reason you're in here?" was my cellmates first reaction when I told him that I had sex with Brendon Urie from Panic! At The Disco. "You know how much money you could make telling people that story?" he asked. "I don't want to make money off of him. I love him and I want to get back together with him," I say.

"Do you really think a famous singer is going to want to be with an ex con like you?"  He asks. "I'm an ex con because of him. I don't think he would care," I say. "I'm just saying don't set your hopes to high. I mean honestly who is going to believe that you were the teacher of Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots, Kimye, Taylor Swift, Melanie Martinez, Halsey, and Panic! At The Disco let alone Fucked Brendon?" He asked.

"I don't need anyone to believe me, but I do need them to remember me," I say, and that was the last of that. My cellmate is stuck here for 15 more years so he wants as much people on his side as he can get even if it means believing my unbelievable story. When I get released tomorrow I'm heading straight to Anaheim California. That is Panic!s next tour stop. I watch all of Brendons live streams when we get computer time so that's how I know where Panic! is going to be.

My favorite song of his is Casual Affair. He said it was inspired by a past relationship that was forbidden. I hope I'm not wrong in thinking that it's about me. When Fall Out Boy won their first VMA they thanked their "high school music teacher" then made the triangle symbol with their hands. Both Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco have a triangle in their logo.

I use that as hope that they didn't forget about me.

Brendon's POV:

I woke up next to Ryan again this morning. I don't know why I always run back to him when I'm feeling lonely. I mean I'm 22 years old it should be normal for someone my age to be sleeping around. Especially because I'm famous, but I just feel like shit when I do it. Me and Ryan had a small fling for a couple months before he left me and the band with Jon.

He said that it was impossible for me to care about anyone other than Mr. Weekes and that when I feel like I'm getting close to someone I pull back. The part that hurts the most is that he is right. I could never love someone more than I love Dallon, but Dallon Probably hates me. The only reason he is in prison is because of me.

I shake Ryan awake. "You need to leave," I say. "Huh?" he asks not fully awake. "Get the fuck out of my bed! Put your clothes on! And get out of my house!" I yell. "Holy shit Brendon would you do everyone a favor and get over yourself. He's not coming back and you need to move on because everyone else around you has already left!" Ryan yells back. He gets up to put his clothes on and leaves.

I slam the door shut behind him and fall to the ground crying. Everyone really has left me. I'm just some spoiled celebrity that shits on everyone that tries to help. I text Pete and ask If I can stay with him and Patrick again. I'm not feeling safe. Pete replies back right away, telling me that I never have to ask and that I'm always welcome to their house.

I pack my bags for a couple of nights because I don't know how long I will be staying with them for. Last time I stayed for two weeks because me and Ryan had split up and Pete didn't trust me when I told him I was feeling better. To be fair he had every right to feel that way. He found my note book filled with every suicide note I had ever written and those two weeks I stayed with them I wrote 12.

I probably need professional help but I don't want that to be the new headline story about me. I'd rather have people think me Pete and Patrick are having a threesome than people writing stories that I've cracked under the pressure of all this fame, or worse is Brendon secretly a psychopath.

When I get to Pete and Patricks house, Patrick opens the door. "How are you? Pete told me what you said," Patrick asks. "I feel like crap. I've never fully forgiven myself for what happened at that party five years ago and now everyone around me is moving on and I'm still reliving the worst night of my life in my head," I cry.

Patrick hugs me and says, "Me and Pete will never leave you. Everybody has that day that they wish they could go back and change what happened. Ryan is just an asshole that will never fully understand how much Dallon has helped you. Dallon helped Fall Out Boy get recognized by everyone senior year. You are not alone. I promise." Patrick carries my stuff to 1 of 8, of their guest rooms.

If we thought Josh's house was impressive in high school, this house is ten times better. Sure Josh and Tyler have a big house today but it is nothing compared to Pete and Patrick's. This is the house they used in their Uma Therman music video. I come here so often that they have the guest room I stay in designed how I like it. I keep my Platinum and gold albums here along with my awards that I've won because the way they display them here looks nicer then they would at my house.

Patrick and Pete's gayness is at it's peek when it comes to their fashion sense. I'm honestly jealous that I don't have someone that loves me the way that Pete loves Patrick. I had someone and now he's gone. It's all my fault. I'm the reason my life is fucked up. I'm the reason everybody wants to leave. I can't stand it. I can't. I run over to the bed, pull the pillow case off the pillow, roll it up, and tie it around my neck.

I'm crying because I can't seem to pull it tight enough. Pete knocks on the door asking If I'm okay. I can't stop crying because I'm not okay. "I'm coming in Bren-" Pete pauses as he opens the door, "Brendon!" He run over to my side and fights with my trying to take off the pillow case. "Let me die!" I scream. "No! PATRICK HELP!" Pete shouts.

Patrick comes running into the room. He Pulls my hands behind my back while Pete unties the pillow case from around my neck. "No! Let me die! I want to die!" I cry. "Why are you doing this?" Patrick asks, "You have me and Pete right here helping you. We will never leave you. So why would you do this to yourself?"

"That's exactly why. You and Pete have the perfect relationship that I'll never because the only person I am capable of loving got sent to prison and I'm never going to see him again," I cry, "He probably hates my guts and I wouldn't blame him because I hate me too." "He doesn't hate you. He knew what he was getting himself into. He had the chance to run after calling the police but he chose to stay to make sure you were safe knowing fully well that he would get arrested," Pete says.

That doesn't make me feel any better. He's still locked in some prison cell while I'm a depressed piece of crap. Pete and Patrick stay with me all night to make sure that I don't try to kill myself again. They may be really great friends, but I really hate them for doing this to me right now. Before I fall asleep every night I lay there wondering what Dallon is doing. I don't know how I'm going to be able to perform at my next concert tomorrow, but you know what they say your fans happiness is more important than your own.