Fame Crazy (Sequel to Strings Attached)

Chapter 138

Castiel and Charlie return to the living room to see Dean chatting with Crowley, almost like they're back in high school again. Castiel only catches the very end of their conversation, but it seems to be about how some professional sports team is doing this year, or did the previous year.

Lucifer waves at them, speaking into his camera. "That's Castiel's rainbow friend, Charlie, who seems to have randomly decided to crash the party and make all of our days better."

"Sounds about right," she agrees. She pulls Castiel after her and they all sit on the couch next to everybody's favorite Satan. "So, what's new?"

"Absolutely nothing," he replies. "Ooh, wait, did you see that Cassie's an actor? I have some competition as the best Satan ever now."

"Ooh, yeah, I did," she tells him. "You really gotta up your game, because Castiel is a damn good Satan."

"Challenge accepted," he replies. "Hey, Castiel, battle of the Satans?"

"Why bother?" Castiel asks with a slight smirk. "We both know I'm gonna win anyway."

"Oh! Oh, the shade!" Charlie laughs. "So much shade being thrown over here!"

"Well, gee, thanks for being so supportive of the original Satan," Lucifer says sarcastically. "I did invent the title in the Novak family. You could at least show me some respect, Charles."

"Oh, okay, hold on." She clears her throat dramatically. "Oh, thank you, lord and savior Lucifer, for being the best devil there ever was."

Castiel scoffs. "You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell, and I could throw you back in."

Charlie's eyes widen at that. "Dude! Did you just — That was so not a you thing! You seriously are an actor! When did this happen?"

Castiel laughs. "Oh, Charlie. It's not an act. I am the devil."

"Then what does that make Lucifer?" Charlie asks.

"That, my friend, is a good question," Lucifer replies, giving his brother the death stare. "There's only one true ruler of hell. I am Satan, not you."

"Well, if it makes you comfy," Castiel says, crossing his arms and biting his lip in a way that shows his complete confidence in the situation, "you could call me God."

Lucifer opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Finally, he just says, "Nicely played, Castiel. Nicely played."

"I think I'm just proving that I am a way better Satan than you are."

"Not a chance, Cassie," Lucifer replies. "You may be good, but I'm better. Always have been, always will be."

Charlie looks between the two. "Okay, this is actually getting kinda scary. I'm half expecting your eyes to turn red or something."

"They're just really into this whole 'I am the embodiment of evil' thing," Gabriel tells her. "But I think we can all agree they're too cute and cuddly for that. Dean, on the other hand..."

Dean looks over suddenly, just now tuning into the conversation. "Did I hear my name? I'm pretty sure I heard my name."

"Gabriel's just bitter about the whole 'I'm dead' thing," Castiel tells him. "Nothing important."

"Ah, 'kay," Dean replies, turning his attention back to Crowley.

"I was the one who said you were dead, though," Lucifer says. "Why's Dean getting the credit?"

"No, you told the world I died, but Dean told Gabriel I died before that," Castiel explains.

"When was that?" Lucifer asks.

Castiel and Gabriel tell the story, and Lucifer laughs almost the entire time. If his camera picked up the audio, it's definitely making it in the vlog, assuming it's understandable.

"That's priceless," Lucifer says. "Oh my god, I can't — That's pure evil. That is legitimately pure evil."

"That's what I said!" Gabriel agrees.

"But it's evil in an awesome way," Lucifer adds. "I thought I did it well, but that... I gotta up my game."

"Oh, god, no, please," Castiel says immediately. "I don't think we'll be able to handle it."

"And then one of these times someone really is going to die and I'm not gonna believe it," Gabriel adds.

"Which better not happen, just FYI," Castiel adds.

"Watch Lucifer actually kill someone to make it more believable," Charlie jokes.

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Lucifer says with a grin, then adds quickly, "Not really. I'm not a murderer, I swear. Don't arrest me! I have so much to live for!"

Gabriel cups his mouth in his hands and yells, "Everybody do the flop!"

Lucifer looks around helplessly. "I think I'd flop on someone and start a domino effect so I'm gonna have to pass on that one."

"It's worth it," Gabriel replies.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Castiel asks.

Lucifer, Gabriel, and Dean all gape at him. In perfect unplanned unison, the three yell, "ASDFMovie!"

"You've never seen ASDF?" Sam asks in surprise. "Even I've seen ASDF."

"No?" Castiel says uncertainly. "What's that?"

"A YouTube series that is literally perfection," Lucifer replies. "I'm sending you the link, and you're going to watch it, or I will tie you to a chair and force you to watch it."

"Alright, alright, I'll watch it!" Castiel says quickly. "No need to kidnap me!"

"I will make sure you watch it before you go back to New York," Lucifer tells him. "You don't have a choice. And I'll make you watch Jacksfilms' newest videos, too, since I bet you're not keeping up on those."

"I have literally seen one Jacksfilms video and I'm content keeping it that way," Castiel replies. "And if ASDFMovie is Jacksfilms, count me out."

"No, it's better than Jacksfilms," Gabriel assures him.

"Aw hell naw, bisch!" Lucifer yells. "Jacksfilms is the best!"

"Woah, okay, okay," Gabriel says quickly, throwing his hands up in defense. "Jacksfilms is better. Are you happy now?"

Lucifer grins. "Yes, very much so."

"What's up with your obsession with Jacksfilms?" Sam asks.

"Jacksfilms is everything," Lucifer replies. "Seriously. Hate all you want, Jacksfilms will always prevail."

"Okay then," Sam says uncertainly. "Let's go with that."

"Put that in the vlog," Charlie says. "The world needs to see your love of Jacksfilms in action."

"I'm totally doing that," Lucifer replies. "Casually advertising my idol's channel."

Castiel rolls his eyes. His obsession with this guy is unnatural. One day, this Jack person is going to find out about it and there's no doubt in Castiel's mind he and his fans are going to poke some fun at him for it.