If someone asks we're just friends(Connor Franta fanfic)

The dark side of a shining star

Another stormy night...another dream of voices following me everywhere...Every night I have the same dream.I'm walking through a foggy park and all these voices are pulling me.I hear Mike's voice Connor's,Maddy's and I don't know which voice is the strongest.But the only thing that I do know is that I'm not strong enough to follow any of them.I really don't understand this..You're probably wondering why I didn't tell you about the house that I'm living in now...Well there's not much to say.It's like I expected.Huge,gorgeous, full of staff and Mike introduced me to each and every one of them...it's been a couple of months and Connor is flooding my phone I have like 36 missed calls and maybe over 20 messages.And I know the reason...Mike and I have been hanging out a lot and the paparazzi were filming us non-stop. I recorded a couple of rock songs and they are blowing up everywhere.And Mike is the producer for every music video so we've been spending even more time together.Everyone loves the songs and the music videos.And I'm really glad.

Mike's been like a brother to me,if I have bad dreams he would stay with me and talk to me or he wouldn't say anything and just sit there.I really needed that.

One day we were hanging out and Connor called again and Mike looked at me and said

-"Answer it,you two have to talk at some point"

I did and when I heard his voice I was on the edge to crying

-"Halo" I said

-"Oh so you finally answer"

-"What do you want?"

-"Well that's a nice way to say hello after all these months"

-"What do you want?"

-"We need to talk"

-"No shit"

-"I'm serious...I'll come to you tomorrow at about 10"

-"Ok" I said and hung up..he doesn't deserve me talking to him even for this long...I was really scared above all...this is the guy that I love with all my heart...and I have a little problem..I'm kind of attracted to Mike a little bit...What do I want? I don't know.I couldn't sleep the whole night just like the night he left.I was scared of his words,his actions...I'm weak when it comes to him.Just one touch will solve everything but..I can't let that happen.He can't get me back this easy and I don't know what I want I'm too confused about this Mike thing.I just do not know what to do.I get lost every time I look at him and I can't stop smiling like an idiot when I see him. It's too much.At 10 am tomorrow I went out of the house and as I was going to the gate I saw Connor tapping his foot infront of his car.He always did that when he was nervous.As I came closer I already felt weak because of the not sleeping thing and there he was.

-"Hey" he came up to me to kiss my cheek and I just took a step back

-"Don't be like that" he said trying to grab my hand I took a step back again

-"Just say what you want"

-"Look,when I came here for the crowd I had rules and leaving you was one of them"

-"Ohh so you couldn't call me and tell me that,after all these years I think I deserve more than a text"

-"You did but I was stupid and I'm sorry I don't love Amber never have and never will believe me please"

-"For the fifth time ha? Every time you say the same thing and for some insane reason I believe you but not this time Connor.I'm sorry but it's been too many times and a sane person can't make the same mistake for the fifth time.But guess what?I moved on and so should you"

-"Mike ha?"I could see that he was hurt by this

-"I can't say that I'm not weak right now,I can't say that I'm resisting an urge to hug you forget everything"

-"Don't resist it"

-"I have to"

I didn't want him to see this so I just ran back to the house..should I believe him?Should I confess to Mike?At the second I walked in Mike was standing there and I couldn't help myself I fell into his arms crying like crazy

-"Shh what happened?" he said gently

-"I..he..he asked..me..to..forgive...him..but I couldn't" I said through crying

-"Shhh it's ok don't cry come here" he said pulling me to the couch "nothing a little drink can't fix"

Ok,I know it's like 10:30am but I couldn't help it I think I've never drunk so much alcohol but I wasn't drunk..Mike was a little and knowing my experience with drunk men I hoped that he wasn't like that.I was resting my head on his shoulder and he rested his head on the couch looking at me...

-"Ann look at me" I slowly raised my head "do you think I'm not good enough for anyone?"

-"Where did this come from?"

-"My mom is even in love but I love this one person and she was hurt badly"

I didn't say a word I just came closer and like a magnet he pulled me to him kissing me passionately gently placing me legs on his knee.I can't say I didn't want this..and what's worse..I wanted this MORE THAN ANYTHING..

-"Let's leave it here" he whispered and fell asleep like we were cursed I fell asleep right after him in the same position.For some insane reason I've never felt more comfortable and I slept like a baby for the first time in months...I needed this because when I wake up it's not going to be this easy...