If someone asks we're just friends(Connor Franta fanfic)

...Is it really over between us?.. or is it just beginning?

,,Why did I do this? Why did he do it?" those were the questions running through my mind...we were so happy,i loved him and I'd be telling lies if i said i don't anymore.I've been avoiding his calls.I mean,i know his words,and I'm sorry i don't believe them.One day i was at Jimmy's room and we agreed not to speak of that,, event" so we were friends again.We were just hanging out and my phone rang again.For the past few weeks I've been getting these texts that are kind of frightening.They all say stuff like,, he loved me,never you" ,,why are you in his life if I'm here" ,,he wants me and he showed it last night" and stuff like that...so here comes another one this one stabbed me pretty hard.It says:,,No metter how much you're with him or how much you love him,he'll be in my arms not yours".I just took a deep breath to calm down and carry on.As time was passing by for the first time in weeks i didn't think of him,i felt no pain at all.Right at that moment my phone rang..guess who...Connors number popped out...Jimmy was convincing me not to answer it but i gave him the phone and put it on speaker...

-,,Well I'm glad you answered" that was the first time i heard his voice in maybe months i don't count anymore

-,,Umm it's not Ann it's her friend,Jimmy.She is showering at the moment but i can take a message" Jimmy said

-,,Ok tell her I'm coming over to talk to her."

I just froze.I started breathing heavy as all these things were going trough my head.He'll be here in about thirty minutes i know him.I just told Jimmy to go out of this room and stay in mine,i feel more comfortable here.I knew i couldn't avoid him forever.I texted him where i am and he came.My heart stopped when he went in.I turned my head not to face him as i was standing in front of him.He grabbed my hands i pulled them back,he grabbed my chin i took a step back.

,,Ok you really need to listen to me" he said

,,Well guess what i don't have a really strong reason to do that"

,,I was drunk,i never wanted to do that"

,,You can control your actions when you're drunk I'm not stupid"

When i said that i heard the door open and it was Jimmy practically running towards Connor

,,No Jimmy go out now" i shouted at him as i stepped in front of Connor

,,No I'm not going out! Can't you see what he does to you? He hurts you all the time you belong with me and nobody else!"

When Connor heard that he was literally jumping over me to get to him..i almost couldn't hold him I shouted at Jimmy to go out again but this time he did.I couldn't take it anymore i fell on the side of the bed with tears falling.

,,Hey don't do that" Connor said to me grabbing my hand sitting beside me

,,Don't touch me! Please don't! You see me now? This is what i do every single night for the past weeks i don't even count anymore..I went to Jimmy that night and it kills me when i think about it...So? What are we gonna do now?"

-,,I don't know Ann.I don't know.We're hearting eachother and this isn't helping."

He went out and i just looked up saying ,,why did i do wrong? tell me because i don't know what i did to deserve this"...I probably stayed there and didn't move for the rest of the night.I was looking trough the window the whole night and didn't move..and as a topic i got a new text saying,, you see? i was right" As time goes by i started to think that he doesn't love me.That he doesn't care.I wanted so badly for it not to be true but it's starting to be true.Over 6 months passed me by.I didn't hear from Connor and it was my birthday.Guess what i wanted for my present? I didn't do anything special,my parents and K and Jimmy were forsing me to do something special because it was my 18 th birthday.I didn't want to.I don't feel like partying.That night i just listened to music in my room with K and Jimmy and Jimmy was drinking-A LOT.I wasn't bothered but i couldn't help but look.When our teacher told us to keep it down because it was like 3a.m i carried Jimmy to his room.When we went in he started to be aggressive.He started pulling my shirt and ripping it of i was screaming for him to stop but he got more and more aggressive.I grabed a bottle that was at the table and broke it against his head.He fell of me and i scared for my life ran out and called my favourite teacher to help me.She called the hospital and they drove him there i was alone that night.Scared and shaking i covered  myself in a blanket not even changing my clothes.Scared of even my shadow i got another text,this one says :''get this in your head...he is mineee ;*".Ok,that's it! I had enough! Eather I'm going to end this or he is,and i can see he isn't dooing anything,i gathered everything i had and changed my clothes called a taxi and went to Connor.My parents weren't around because of some trip so we could talk.As i stepped outside to go into the taxi,heavy rain started.I ran as fast as i could and went in.When i came infront of the door i took a deep breath and knocked on the door.I was soaking wet so when he opened the door he wanted to drage me in but i refused so he went outside without an umbrella.

-,,When are we gonna end this? I don't want to spend a hundred years like this.Are we going to end this or start over?"

i finally said

-,,How can we? This is a huge bite for us,you were with Jimmy and i was with Amber.I love you,you love me,but we hurt,love isn't supposed to be this way.Like you I've been crying,I'm hurt to.I miss our nights together,our little fights,I MISS YOU"

I was looking at his deep eyes,i wanted him with me i wanted his touch,his breath against my neck.I kissed him.Rain was falling down our faces,we were cold as ice but we wanted eachother.He took my hand and  i was in the house.Started kissing me down my neck and pulled my legs across his waist...We whispered to eachother,, I hate you so much" repeating it over and over our passion grew by second.I didn't want anything but this.Why was it so hard to stay away? I didn't want any unanswered questions.He put me down on my bed softly and took of his shirt. His hand was in mine.His warm kisses were going down my neck like the rain earlier but passionate kisses were marking my lips like he was saying,, you're mine" .His cold hands like ice were going down my legs and i felt shivers from me and him.In the morning i woke up terrified that last night was just a dream,but i saw his hand in mine with me turned back to him..When he felt that i woke up slightly he moved to my ear whispering,, shhh,it's ok" and holding my hand tightly...he was here with me and nobody else...This proves me wrong,he does love me and he does care.