eddie
as soon as i walked through the door i stormed into my bedroom, slamming my door shut behind me and throwing my bag onto my bed. i was angry. really angry.
i hated jane. i hated richie. i hated all of them.
i slammed my fists against the wall before sliding down it, my anger turning into a painful sadness that made my chest throb. i cried loudly, knowing my mom was asleep. i cried non stop for at least half an hour, thinking about how much i wished i could just not exist in this moment. i cried over the fact that jane was pretty, prettier than i ever could be. richie probably had a crush on her already, and the thought made me cry even harder. i cried at the fact that i'd always loved richie more than i should have but he'd never feel the same. i cried at the thought of having to hide what i'd done for the rest of my life, lying to my friends and wearing jumpers in summer. i cried and cried until eventually the tears weren't even coming anymore and all i could manage was dry sobs. but then i remembered that all my life long friends had taken more of a liking to jane in one day than they ever had with me, and that brought on a new wave of tears.
they'd invited her to our treehouse after school, they didn't even ask me if i wanted to go. this was it, i'd been replaced by some british girl and now i was going to lose everyone. it became harder and harder to breathe normally through my tears, my chest heaving with sadness whilst my small lungs struggled for air.
i carried on sobbing uncontrollably, not being able to stop the ugly cries from forming in my throat. i didn't notice when my door opened and someone walked in, dumping a bag on the floor. i didn't notice when they knelt down in front of me and put their hands on my arms to try and pry them away from my face. i didn't notice when they shook me, hard, screaming at me to breathe. i didn't even notice when their hands were suddenly on my face, wiping away the tears on my cheeks with their thumbs whilst more streamed down theirs.
i opened my eyes, the brightness of the room almost blinding me. i made contact with two dark brown eyes, teary and red rimmed. only then, did i notice.
richie.
richie
i bit my lip as i tried to stop more tears from forming in my eyes, walking back home with my bike, seemingly not having the energy to actually ride it.
i couldn't get the image of eddie out of my head. i shouldn't have let him go home, i knew something was wrong. it was my fault. i'd invited jane to the treehouse, not even realising at first when we all got there and eddie wasn't present. of course i'd gone to his house, hoping to find him there. but what i wasn't hoping for was the awful sound of sobbing coming from inside as i stood on the front porch.
my heart had broken when i ran into his room to find him sat against the wall, face covered and body shaking with his cries. i'd immediately tried to get him to calm down, get him to breathe, but it was like he couldn't even hear me. i didn't understand, i'd always been able to calm eddie down, always. whenever he was upset or having an asthma attack or anything, there'd never been a time when i hadn't been able to help. but here i was, sat helplessly as he continued to sob. he didn't react at all as i lost all control of the situation and began crying myself, screaming at him to just breathe. i'd watched as his lips had slowly turned blue from his lack of oxygen intake, horrified at how much he was hurting and how little he was breathing. i barely registered what was happening as his mom came in and gasped at the sight of her son sat screaming on the floor as his best friend shook him frantically, shouting something about an ambulance before running out of the room. i didn't even think about trying to find his inhaler, i'd seen enough of eddie's asthma attacks to know what to do in case of one, but this wasn't an asthma attack, and i didn't know what to do.
