richie
i helped eddie up off the floor with great difficulty, allowing him to lean his weight against me. which in his defence, wasn't a lot.
i furrowed my eyebrows in concern as his eyelids drooped and his eyes rolled back into his head every few seconds, his chest heaving.
"eddie, do you need to go to a hospital?"
i asked seriously, feeling his grip on my shirt tighten as he shook his head in a drunken fashion.
"n-"
i didn't get much warning before he'd thrown himself onto the ground, his knees bruising as they hit the tiled floor. he violently threw up into the toilet, only just managing to get there in time. my breathing picked up pace as i rubbed his back soothingly, cringing at the way he coughed and gagged until his throat was raw and his legs were too weak to keep him upright. i held him from under his arms, wiping at his mouth with my t-shirt as i stroked my fingertips along his clammy forehead. the pain i felt for him in this moment was indescribable.
and for the very first time, it dawned upon me that my stupid jokes and mediocre impressions weren't always enough to fix the troubles inside eddie's head.
and that realisation alone was enough to kickstart a burning fire within my palms. one that screamed and scorched and wouldn't be put out until eddie was okay again.
"eddie, can you hear me?"
i spoke loud and urgent, shaking his shoulder slightly as his head lolled backwards at the action. he didn't respond, and instead just slumped down fully onto the bathroom floor. i'd never seen him properly sit on any type of flooring without something underneath him before, and it only raised more concerns.
"ed's, i need you to show me that you can hear me. you're scaring me."
he closed his eyes, inhaling painfully.
"eddie? eddie please."
i heard him whimper softly, and he managed to splutter out several words. i leaned in close, desperate to hear any form of confirmation that he was still with me.
"you're real strong, rich. real strong."
and with that, his entire body went limp.
at first i panicked, my eyes widening as i whispered nonononono under my breath. i immediately ragged down his sleeve, finding it hard to ignore the countless marks upon it as i frantically checked for a pulse. i went slack as i felt soft and steady thumping course through my two fingers, somehow decreasing my own heart rate as i registered that it was a positive. i sighed dramatically and ran my hands through my knotted hair, wincing as it stung my scalp.
with little effort, i got up and flushed the toilet without even considering looking at it's contents. as much as i loved eddie, i didn't want to see his puke. my eyes did however trail to his unconscious form laid still on the floor. i frowned.
eddie's neck was bent at an awkward angle, and his eyebrows were creased downwards as if he were having a nightmare. i sighed deeply and knelt down beside him, placing his head in my lap as i stroked over his matted hair.
"oh, eddie."
i whispered tearfully, not quite realising i was crying until a droplet landed on his freckled cheek and trailed down to his ear. i felt responsible for his current state, even though i wasn't quite sure of what had actually happened. i knew that somehow it was me who had caused this, and it broke me. sometimes i felt as though i cared too much about the 5"1 'nancy boy' that i'd loved since the day i met. but then i'd stop and think about him, about his smile, and the things i'd do just to see it. and then i'd regret ever questioning the amount of space he held in my heart. if it were up to me, he could have it. i would have given anything for him, anything and everything. that and even more.
