eddie
i scuffed my slipper against the squishy surface of the flooring beneath my feet, swinging back and forth lazily. the sky was clear and honest, and the trees listened.
everything felt just a little too strange.
the bitter aftertaste of smoke was still present on my tongue, and my arms still felt frozen in place as if cherry red lips had never left mine.
i thought about the girl - max?
i thought about when she kissed me.
it was sloppy and unexpected, with a lot of tongue. it wasn't the worst experience ever, but i certainly wouldn't do it again.
and i wasn't sure whether it was because she was a girl, or because she wasn't richie.
i sighed, fondling the small plastic object from inside my pocket. the cigarette was still safely tucked behind my ear, burning the side of my face, demanding to be acknowledged. i reached up and took it between my fingers, inhaling deeply as a fresh gust of crisp wind blew away any doubts.
i wasn't entirely sure how to use a lighter, and so my thumb was sore and pink by the time a flame had been accomplished. it flickered, disturbed by the air around me. i quickly lit the cigarette in my mouth, wasting no time before sucking in the poison i thought i'd never taste.
"fuck."
i croaked hoarsely, coughing on the smoke as it left my mouth. i knew my clothes would now smell of it, and that i would be able to taste it for days on end, but i liked the thought of that.
the smoke held on to me tighter than anyone i loved ever had.
and then of course, i thought about richie.
i thought about how different i would feel if he were to be by my side, underneath the same melancholy sky. the cold air edging us closer together as the warm air burns both our insides. secrets passed through the lips of one and into the other in the form of clouds weighed down by the toxicity of our thoughts. stolen kisses under a cliche full moon, nothing but pure ecstasy running through our veins.
but richie wasn't there, and he hadn't been for a very long time.
part of me was beginning to think i would never be able to tell him the secrets that so painfully crowded my mind, and it hurt.
and so to minimise the hurt, the lit end of a homemade cigarette was jabbed into the soft centre of my left palm.
and i didn't feel a fucking thing.
richie
"fuck stanley! you're sat on my foot!"
i cried out, scowling at stan. he put his arms up in defence, attempting to adjust the way he was sat as best as he could.
"well i'm sorry that your foot was in the way."
he muttered bitterly, causing me to narrow my eyes at his sly words. we were all cramped inside the treehouse, which seemed to grow smaller by the day. rain was hitting the roof, hard, and the smell of damp wood filtering through only caused the suffocating feeling to intensify. i pulled my knees close to my chest, squishing myself in the corner.
"mike! will you give it a rest!"
exclaimed jane frustratedly, shoving him lightly away from her with pink cheeks. mike grinned sheepishly, causing ben to shake his head at the two.
"i swear all you two do is argue."
i commented, raising an eyebrow. jane rolled her eyes at me, tucking wet strands of darkened blonde hair behind her ear.
