TomTord One-shots

Pills-Oneshot- angst

His hands were shaking and his eyes were brimming with unseen tears. He sat on his bed in the middle of the night trying to keep everything together.

This isn't working.

He reached into his bedside drawer for the bottle. A prescription, just for him. With his uncertain hands it took a bit to get it open, but as soon as he did he grabbed two pills from it and took it dry. Anything to stop this craze.

His eyes sunk to a soft silver as a lazy smile crossed his face. The effects were already taking place and his thoughts finally settled. He looked at the cracked mirror and laughed a bit. He looked silly.

I'm sorry Tom.

He knew that if Thomas found him he would be highly upset, but did it really matter? He was happy. He wasn't addicted. He could go a day without his pills, right? Tom just didn't understand. He had given up alcohol for the most part, choosing to only really get drunk around Christmas and when they went out. He of all people should understand! Tord just didn't want to think anymore and these capsules were the only way to escape.

"Tord, I'm Home!"

Shit.

He through the now capped bottle back into the drawer, but he couldn't wipe that smile off his face. It was only two. It's not like he took two every hour like he used to, besides he was prescribed these meds in the first place.

"Tord?"

"Uh, Yes?" he called out, unable to stop a giggle to come through. Tom was now in the doorway, looking as sharp as ever. He was wearing his work clothes, dress pants with a dark blue button up and a black vest. he was smiling, seeing his fiance looking so happy.

"Well, whats got you in a good mood?" Tord, in a whimsical mood laid his head on Tom's lap. "Just knowing you're home." That's when Tom knew something was up.

Tord's pupils were dilated and the iris was too dull, his smile too carefree. His body was without tension, but most importantly he had openly said that he was happy to see Tom.

Tord was shy when it came to emotion and had a hard time expressing it, much less saying it.

The pills. The fucking pills.

"Tord, did you take those Pills?" Tom was trying to hide his anger, but how drugged up Tord was he probably wouldn't notice even if Thomas was screaming at him. "Tord, I told you not too. You said you'd stop. You lied to me, again! How many times do we have to do this!? How long before you really stop? How much longer will i be forced to wait?" He was wiping his tears.

Tom wished Tord was never given those Retched Pills. They gave them to him because we was always tense, didn't know how to cope and didn't know how to show emotion. The pills fixed that. They made him more open, he smiled more, he was Happy.

But that wasn't real, was it? Because real Tord didn't abandon his meetings to go watch stars, real Tord never laughed uncontrollably at a terrible pun that Tom made, real Tord made Thomas feel something and Tom hated it, because while he was under the influence He wasn't the real Tord.

He wasn't the person Tom fell in love with.

He wasn't the person Tom was going to marry in 3 months.

he was a happy go lucky kid that didn't understand the weight of things like Real Tord did. This was a stranger he was sleeping next too. This is a stranger he's living with. This just isn't Tord.

By the time Tom was trying to get him off those damned things, he was already addicted. Addicted to feeling weightless, to all those thoughts and worries going away, he was addicted to escaping, running away.