Falling deep [S.M]

15- I love you

I'm sat next to the window on the plane with Harley's head on my knee, she's peacefully asleep, do you ever wonder what people are dreaming about when they are asleep?

I stroke a piece of her hair and place it behind her ear and slightly smile. I look out the window to the peaceful view of floating clouds, it's a beautiful image.

We land in Manchester airport around 8 hours after leaving Toronto. I don't know how much I can take of this, being back here I mean.

My grandma, she's like my best friend I'd go to her with all of my problems, I know that lately I've not been the best granddaughter, I told her that I would call her at least once a week since I've been here but with the time zones and how busy I've been I've hardly spoke to her at all, I miss her.

Coming back here is flooding memories I had as a child growing up with my next door neighbours, singing in school concerts, lunch time fights in our school, my friends, god I miss my friends I speak to a few of them every now and again but I've realised since I've moved who my true friends are, the ones that stick by my side, even from the other side of the world.

It's just gone 11PM English time meaning in Canada it is 6PM, I text Shawn and tell him we arrived safely and I'm missing him already. A month is a long time, I know I'm here to see my grandma and all I want right now is to see her and make sure she is okay, even though I've been warned by my Mum that it doesn't look good.

The one person I want a hug from right now is currently located on the other side of the world and I'm just going to have to accept that I won't be able to feel his touch for a month. That thought causes tears to blur my vision I blink them away hoping that no one noticed the pain in my face.

We arrive at my Aunts house where we will be staying for the next few weeks, she greets us all with genuine hugs and the same goes for my Uncle, my cousins where still very young so they have gone to sleep for the night.

My Mum and Dad share a spare room and me and Harley take the other. I put my belongings on the bed closest to the window and then I begin to get Harley ready for bed because she was falling asleep standing up. After searching through her bag for her pjs and toothbrush I help her into them and she brushes her teeth.

"Sweet dreams" I gently speak kissing her forehead

I try to sneak out of the room before she speaks out.

"Ali?" I hear her little voice speak. I sit down on the floor next to her bed so I'm eye level with her tiny facial features.

"Yes Harl?" I say placing my hand over hers.

"Is Grandma going to visit Ruby?" What she says takes me back a little.

"Grandma isn't really well, which means soon yes, she'll be leaving us but she won't be alone she'll be with Ruby" I say trying not to cry.

"Ruby won't be alone now" Harley says with a smile.

"No, no she won't she'll have company up there" I say kissing her forehead saying goodnight one last time.

Once I've left the room and closed the door I sob, I let it all out. My body slides down the back of the door I've got my hand over my mouth trying not to make a sound.

My head leans back and hits the wood of the door, tears are running down both sides of my face uncontrollably, my Grandma is such a happy soul why is this happening to her?

I just sit there on the floor at the top of the stairs thinking about everything, literally everything. My friends here, moving, school, Shawn, Ruby, Aaliyah, everything.