Not A Single Droplet

31

Steve and James hold each other, Steve cradles James gently as he ignores the dizzy feeling from the bloodloss.

"I'll finish the surgery." Steve says as he carefully stands up, taking the cut open hoody off and leaving a bad mark on his chest, although the creme thing did it's job.

"Steve." James says, his voice still a little shaky.

Steve looks at him.

"You're not ready for it, are you?" James asks.

"I'll be fine." Steve replies.

"You promised me something." James says.

"That was for voices and visuals." Steve sighs.

"For everything." James says.

Steve sighs. "I won't make mistakes." Steve says sadly.

"Steve... we need to talk." James says.

Steve looks at him.

"Sit down." James says, noticing the dizziness from Steve a little too well.

Steve sits down, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees. 

"I'm worried about you." James starts. "You're not telling your story to me and there are all these visuals, voices you hear and see.. not to mention your suicide attempt not long ago." James sighs. "There is something in your head... Your deep love to hurt yourself and the incredable passionated skills for surgery... You lied to me about the drugs and you're scared to tell me the real reason why you were tugged in prison." James takes a breathe. "What is bothering you so much?" He asks finally after the massive speech.

Steve stares silently, swallowing, opening his mouth to say anything but closing it and looking to his hands. "I'll explain everything after the surgery is done." He says again.

James sighs sadly. "Do you promise me?" he asks.

"Yes." Steve says.

'You're never gonna tell him, you didn't promise when. You're learning it freak.'  says the voice inside his head.

"Thank you." James replies.

Steve nods quietly. 

It remains silent after. For a few minutes Steve speaks up. "I'm dead inside." 

"what do you mean...?" James asks quietly.

"Too early to explain." Steve replies.

"You're not dead inside... you've emotions... dark and sad emotions but that's not dead..." James says.

"And I'm a gay freak that loves a nerd with anorexia." Steve gives a warning glare as he says that. Knowing too well over James food issue.

"I'm not anorexic." James' voice raises.

"You are." Steve sighs. 

"Well you're suicidal." James replies annoyed, moody and stressed.

A weird grin appears on Steve's face. "I know I am. And I kick on it."

"Steve... get back to normal please. I don't want to talk to any of your voices in your head." James responds.

Steve sighs a little hurt.

It remains silent again.