Born To The Barrio's Best: Chris Jackson and Mandy Gonzalez/COMPLETE

Twenty (Therapy)

(Mandy's POV)

Chris held my hand tightly as we walked into the large building. He was making me go to therapy. Well, me, Bella and himself. Family therapy. I groaned like a teenager and walked up the stairs. Chris carried Bella on his hip since she couldn't really walk up the stairs with one leg. When we reached the third floor, Chris snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me closer. "Ready?" He asked us.

"I guess." Bella sighed.

"What she said." I sighed as well and Chris opened the door to the waiting room.

Sitting down, Bella on Chris' lap, she turned to me. "Mama, can I have my crutch please?" I handed it to her and smiled reassuringly at her. She took my hand. "It's okay to be nervous Mama." She said. I looked her in the eye.

"What makes you think that baby?"

"Mama both your legs are shaking."

"Oh. Haha...I guess I am nervous, but that doesn't mean you have to be too."

"It's okay Mama. Daddy says this will help us. It'll be good for us to talk about our stuff."

"I know. Daddy's right on this one. It'll be good fo..."

"Mr Jackson, Ms Gonzalez and Ms Jackson-Gonzalez? Come on back." A woman with long black hair calls. We follow her into the back and sit together on the couch in her office. "I'm Dr Genevieve Green, but you can call me Dr Green, Dr Genevieve, Genevieve or Gen. whatever is easier for you. So let's start with introductions. Ms Gonzalez, how about you start. And say the reason why you're here."

"Um, Mandy. I miscarried our baby a few days ago and because I was so upset about it, I cut." I said, my face felt hot because of embarrassment.

"Okay, Mr Jackson?"

"My name is Chris. I feel like around both my girls I have to walk on eggshells. Like if I make a wrong move, one of them will break down." Chris said and I squeezed his hand.

"And you Ms Jackson-Gonzalez?" Bella laughed.

"I'm Isabella, or Bella, and I'm here 'cause I'm scared of cars." Chris and I look at each other and then at Bella.

"You're afraid of cars? Why haven't you said anything? We take you in the car all the time. Baby, if you're afraid of something, tell us. We can help you." I said.

"Well, why are you afraid of cars Ms Bella?"

"Because I got hit by a car. That's why I only have one leg." I rubbed her back and felt Chris rub mine.

"And you miscarried?"

"Yes. I blame myself. My father blames Chris. I swear that he almost killed him. He would have, too. And it's my fault." I broke down.

"That's right. It's your fault your father didn't kill me. You ripped him off of me before he could. Thank you." Chris said and kissed my temple.

"You said you started cutting. Have you cut since the first time?"

"Yes." I sighed. I should have known that she would ask that.

"Mandy, when?" Chris asked. Bella covered her ears.

"This morning, before we came. I swear I didn't want to. It just happened."

"May I see them please?" Genevieve asked. I looked at Bella who now covered her eyes.

I rolled up my sleeve to show swollen, red, inflamed cuts. "Mandy, baby, why?" Chris asked and rolled my sleeve down for me. He kissed my wrist and folded my fingers to a fist and kissed my knuckles. "Why?"

"I don't know." I looked down, embarrassed again.

"And you Chris. Why do you feel like you're walking on eggshells?"

"Mandy cutting is one reason. It's clear that Bella's traumatized. That's a second reason. I just want things to be better. I don't know how to make it happen, but I want to have everything get better." Chris said. I could tell he was at his breaking point. "We need help!" His grip on my hand tightened.

"Okay. We've run out of time. I will see you at this time next week."

"Okay." I said and I carried Bella down the stairs.

We got in the car, Chris driving as carefully as possible, just for Bella. I sat in back with her and held her hand. Then a question was asked. "Bella, does your leg hurt?" Chris spoke cautiously.

"Sometimes. The doctor at the hospital said it was called 'phantom pain'. It's when you feel your limb even though it's not there anymore." I looked at her with sad eyes and kissed her cheek. "But it goes quick Mama! It's okay!" I knew that my daughter was lying to make Chris and I feel better.

~~~

"So we all have our issues we've got to work through." I stated in our next therapy session. "I think that's the first time I've really admitted it. I just think that if we all work on our issues and learn to talk to each other then we'll be able to make progress."

"Chris, what do you think about this statement?" Genevieve asked. Chris looked at me blankly for a moment.

"I think that she makes a good point. But I don't get why she thinks we need to learn to talk to each other. I feel that Bella is pretty good at that and I thought that we were getting better at the whole talking thing." Chris said.

"I'm not saying that we aren't getting better at talking to each other, but we need to learn how to communicate in a manner that doesn't scare Bella." I said, pointing to our daughter who was covering her ears with her eyes squinted shut.

"No! No! Please stop! Ahh!" Bella screamed. I grabbed her in a hug and rocked her back and forth.

"I don't think this is your doing." Genevieve said as I kept rocking Bella.

"Baby. Shh. You're okay baby."

"It was the car. It was the car again."

"I'd like to speak to Bella alone."

~~~

Bella seemed calmer after Genevieve spoke with her. Thank god. I walked Bella home, carrying her on my hip. I knew that this wasn't the end of our hard times. Her trauma was far from over and I was far from recovering from that miscarriage. That left Chris with his fear of breaking us. Our issues made us human. Some of those issues were bigger than others, but they were issues all the same.

***Author's Note***

Hi guys! I'm doing a Character Q&A soon. Please ask questions for the characters. For Mandy, Chris, and Bella. For Karen and Lin.

Example:

Mandy: What's your favorite thing to do with Chris when you can get someone to watch Bella?

Alright loves, be fearless.

Sincerely,
The Author (Ryeli)