IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 5- The Glass Walls

Chapter 5

I must have been staring all night long, because I snapped from my secluded daze with a knock on the door. James walked in and was startled to see me on the floor, eyes buried with focus. It was relaxing, almost better than sleep. At least I wasn't dreaming more if I had my eyes open.

James' eyes were puffy. Finally, Xander said something so I repeated him . "You didn't go home. You worked a night shift for the third time this week." He looked at me oddly. "Either way, we need to get you to Dr..." I interrupted,"Dr. Galloway. He's forty-five and happily married yet a very unhappy man. He specializes in medicine. He is going to give me prescriptions and stuff and talk to me. And can I ask a favor? If you get me shrink, let me choose. Jess is scarred from hers."

I immediately regretted saying that. "What do you mean-" "Don't worry about it." He still had that confused look on his face. He told me to shower and then get dressed and he would meet me in the kids common room. Shower? I thought, I never imagined myself showering in an asylum.

I walked to the little bathroom area across the hall, quietly. As I took off my nightgown, the cold air coming from a high and open window stung my skin. My hair was dirty, just the way I liked it, but I decided that I would wash hair anyways. The water was cold at first but heated up after a minute or two.

I stepped out and dried off. Now that I didn't have Kathy to do my hair, I had no clue what to do with the tangly wet mass of hair attached to my head. I untangled it carefully with my fingers and put a part on the side. After I had got most of the water out, I put on a gray leggings and a black t-shirt that I found in the bottom drawer of the dresser in my room.

With out a single person looking, I sprinted across the hall towards my room. I shut the door and caught my breath leaning against the cold wall. I had never really cared what people thought of me but walking through these halls, I felt more self conscious than ever. Even sitting alone in a room made me feel exposed and afraid.

I walked out, tucking my hair behind my ears. I felt a light hand press against my back. I stopped dead in my tracks, horrified for some unknown reason. I don't get afraid, I thought. I turned around and my face was very close to a skinny girl who I knew was going to be able to hold a grudge. Lillian.

"Hey Newbie. How was your first night? Get a little scared when you heard the screaming and laughter?" A devilish smile was worn proudly ear to ear. I knew just what to say,"Do ya get tired of tryin to talk tough? Is it because you stayed up last night dreaming of a girl named Liz? Were you sick of waking up crying and screaming repeating that hard punch you put in your defenseless sisters face?" I flashed her a cocky smile and brushed her hand off of my shoulder.

I took one step forward but she yanked me back by the collar of my shirt, into a small space by a window behind a wall that led to the common room. "Listen up, punk..." I interrupted,"I'm listening morning breath." She glared and then continued.

"I don't know how you know all of this stuff but it will get you in a bunch of trouble. You got a lot of nerve comin' around her and talkin' crap. You may be young but-" "But what? You aren't afraid to take me out. End up where Nick is. With out a doubt, ya I got nerve. I have more gut than you do. But ya see the difference between us is that I take that nerve and do something with it that gets me somewhere instead of taking innocent people out with that nerve. So ya I have a lot of gut comin' around here and saying what I want but there isn't really a thing you can do about it because you won't hurt me. You have guts but you don't have the power to use that for an advantage. You just talk talk talk your self up but shuttin' up will get you further than those empty words coming out of that hole in your face. So shut it and get over yourself. Don't make others miserable just because you are."