IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 41- We Are Totally Normal Kids

Authors note:

I FINALLY REACHED 7K READS AND I AM SO GRATEFUL!!! Thank you to every one who read and a special thanks to one of my fav people on the planet, ShesWithout!! She is an amazing writer and you need to check her out. She is an inspiration and shows me so much support so, brinleigh, I couldn't have made it to 7k or to over 40 chapters with out you!!

Thank you all again!!

~love Ali :D

Chapter 41

I sat up in my bed, leaning against the cold wall and silently asked myself over and over, Holy crap, did I just die? I asked myself that for a long time going over that dream.

It felt more real than any other dream that I had ever gone through. I could feel Rickey's fingers laced I between mine. I felt pure terror as Damian grabbed ahold of me. I knew of the hatred that older me was feeling towards Damian. And worst of all, I could feel the thin knife pierce my skin and drag down my flesh.

Then my mind flipped back top Damian. Why did he have to leave? I knew he had been released from juvenile detention and would now go into the foster system but I really couldn't wrap my head around him being gone.

When those worlds came through my mind, being gone, I thought of what happened when Rickey left. *Internal shudder* I made sure that I was able to feel and move and all and calmed down when I knew that Damian's absence wasn't going to but me through an absolute hell.

I wanted him back and wasn't sure why. Knowing details of the Damian thing ruined my image of him. The Damian that had been shown to me in dreams was cold and heartless and incapable of showing love or he was being so sweet that I couldn't handle it. Real Damian was a combination. He had a raw feel to him but yet was so kind and silly.

A knock on my door snapped me out of my real, of deep thought. I blinked my eyes to clear them out and saw Rickey step through the entrance of my door. "What in the name of all that is wrong in the world are you doing here?" I said with anger flooding my voice.

"Touchy are we?" He said stepping closer, obviously trying to lighten the mood. "Why?" I said firmly. "Why what?" Rickey replied, sitting on the edge of my bed. "Why we're you trying to bleed out on your floor and why didn't you want me to save you?"

He nervously rubbed the back of his neck and lightly chuckled saying," you heard that..."

"Of coarse I heard that. I was tired not dead. And speaking of dead, why did I even need to save you in the first place?"

"You wouldn't get it. You weren't there..."

"I do get it. I know what happened."

Rickey's cheeks got bright red and he turned his gaze away from me," So you know..."

"I know what happened in the dream but I don't know why you tried to commit suicide over it."

"Because I-" he stopped as if realizing what he was going to say isn't what he really wanted to. But what wouldn't he want to tell me? "Because... Ummm... You are my best friend and you were dying and I couldn't do anything..." His voice trailed off and he began crying.

"I felt helpless and angry that I had to watch you suffer and couldn't change it. I wanted you to be fine but nothing I did could help you and couldn't handle that. And if that really happened, I couldn't stand to think that one day you would die and I couldn't change it."

I felt his pain for a short few seconds as if I was feeling his emotions. But what he said only seemed half true. I knew that there was something that he was holding back. But what was it?