IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 9- Lucid Dream

I walked into my room, the weight of the day crushing me. I need sleep, I thought. So I went over to the dresser with all of the clothes and pulled out a white gown just like the one I wore the night before. Pulling off my t-shirt felt good; it was like pulling off the day I had just experienced.

I had just.... I interrupted my thought before it was complete. Don't think about it, I told myself. I didn't want to think, I wanted to sleep. I slipped on the white fabric and slipped off my leggings. I don't think I was ever wearing shoes and if I was, I didn't remember. Did I want to remember?

Don't think! I told myself.

I curled up under the sheets of the newly made up bed. It creaked and moaned as I got settled. Sleep. Don't be a baby. Sleep. I told myself that over and over until my eyes got heavy with sleep and they drooped closed.

The dreams hit the minute my eyes fell shut. Now I was locked in on this crappy ride of the dream roller coaster until the dreams all end. For all I knew, I could never wake up if the dreams didn't finish.

I wasn't much older; I was seven maybe eight. James was standing by me, a worried look plastered on his face. "Katrina, you haven't spoken a word in two months. I know that Rickey is gone right now..." His voice trailed off as I shot him a deadly look.

I seemed to be about to open my mouth and scream bloody murder, but I held it back. "Katrina...please just speak so we can help you. You need help." He packed as much pleading into the word need as possible.

I just looked at him steadily and lifted my middle finger. I gave a half-hearted, sarcastic, cocky smile and followed him with my finger as he walked over to the door.

He shut the door and walked away. Once he was gone, I dropped my hands and got my previous disengaged, angry, bored expression once more.

I walked over carefully to the older, dream-version of me. I reached out to tap me on the back. Right when my finger tips were about to touch my back then the whole dream shifted.

I was in a room, dark and damp. I was having a hard time breathing and it was apparent in my chopped inhales and wheezy exhales. I felt lucid. I was actually moving in my own body even though I was older. I was most likely ten or eleven.

My vision was blurry and I felt like crying.

I still didn't say a word. Although, my eyes said everything. They were icy and cold looking. I didn't seem to have been crying, to have been sick, or anything. I just looked dull and normal.

Then I realized I was not only controlling my own body but I could see myself. It was a mirror in front of me that gave off this illusion. I tried to move my head but pain shot through me.

No other part of my body would budge without searing prickly pain.

Just then, a man walked in. "Don't move Katrina. It's all okay. You wont remember this because it is all part of project intelligence." He had a grim smile on his thin wrinkly, pale face.

"And is that your reason for kidnapping an innocent child?" I paused and looked at him dead in the eyes. "Or are you normally just that creepy?"

"Knock her out." The man demanded keeping his eyes locked on mine.

Then everything changed.

I was in a yellow room, full of light and photos of nature. I was no longer lucid because I was watching myself. I was around the age of fourteen. A woman sat in front of my in a spinning desk chair with a pad of paper and a curious look on her face.

I was sitting Indian style and silent, staring off into space with a blank expression. I was in the given asylum clothing. Nothing was happening. The room was still and quiet.

The woman starred at me constantly and with a cold glare. Finally, older me spoke,"Rickey is gone," The lady seemed taken back,"You haven't spoken in five months. Don't hold it in any longer. Keep talking."

Her face softened as well as her look. I looked back at her and something seemed to illuminate in my eyes," He is gone and so are my abilities. I feel disconnected and out of touch. And I would do anything to hit Hally Waters."

The name sounded familiar. I remembered what Xander said to me 'Don't trust Hally". I shivered.

Older me kept talking," He is gone and now I have no one. Of coarse Rickey's parent will turn him back in and he will come back but I need him now.

"Nothing makes sense. I need Rickey in order to concentrate." I started to cry and the lady got a sympathetic look. Her wrinkles didn't compliment the sad expression as well as the hard, cold one did.

I looked as if I would say something but the dream was violently interrupted.

I woke up to the sound of something unknown. The scream was high and shrill. I tried to crawl out of my bed but I felt paralyzed. I began to sweat and panic. I can't move, I thought.

A voice came on in my head, You lucid dreamt and that can lead to sudden and brief paralysis upon awaking. Xander's voice calmed me so I relaxed. The noise kept on.

It was as piercing as the needle on a syringe. It was nerve grinding and loud. I could see movement outside of the little window on my door. I couldn't make out faces or tell what was going on; I just heard noise.

I tried to move again and to my surprise, I could move. I squirmed out of my bed and when my feet hit the floor my legs gave out and I toppled onto the tile. "Dang it!" I screamed as I looked down to see blood coming from a scrape on my right knee.

I stood up ignoring the pain; the curiosity was more intense. My legs were wobbling and I was unsteady, but I managed to get to the door.

I could feel a small trickle of blood slowly roll down my leg.

I twisted the knob but it didn't open. "X," I said calmly,"help me out?" I heard a clicking noise. I went in for the handle again. It swung open and a cold rush of air consumed me.

Stepping out, the loud noise intensified. The more steps I took, the louder it got. Then after taking about five steps out, I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I turned quickly to see who this person was.

Rickey.

"What's happening?"I screamed. He leaned in close and whispered to me.

"You need to do exactly what I say. You were lucid dreaming for the first time weren't you?" I nodded in response," Take my hand and focus on me. Only me, okay? Xander will start talking to you and then, well, you'll see when it happens."

I could feel him smiling beside me. He put his warm hand into mine and squeezed it a little bit. I was hoping that he wouldn't notice that even the contact of his hand to mine gave me shivers.

Then the voice came.

Don't focus on the noise or the people or on anything other than Rickey. Take deep, slow breaths and think of the room when no one is in it. Think of it as empty and silent. Then let him do the rest.

I relaxed and began to think of the room as I was told. I began to get this warm feeling in my stomach. The I closed my eyes to focus even more. It wasn't really a challenge to think of Rickey and I all alone in a room.

Some thing about him made me feel like I wasn't alone in this world; like I had someone there who would never leave me. Most girls my age think boys are gross and souly devote there lives to Disney princesses but I wanted to stand right here and hold Rickey's hand forever.

Then I opened my eyes when I felt a shocking wave of silence cover me. I looked over at Rickey and his big green eyes met mine.

He smiled his devious grin and said," Welcome to awake lucid dreaming."