IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 38- Kalvin

I sat pondering the odd thought that my brother could be... I couldn't even finish the thought. It almost hurt me to think that but of coarse I had no proof or reason to believe such a thing so I didn't need to worry. But even know that I had a brother that I truly didn't know was a strange thought.

*******

I laid in my bed thinking about this brother that I had so easily forgotten over time. As a kid, I knew that Kalvin was a big part of my father leaving. He didn't want that many kids and it had always been that way.

I fell asleep that night, unaware of what was to come of this newly remembered brother. All this time I had been the youngest of the O'Conner's but now I realized that I was no longer the last in the line of O'Conner children.

My dreams didn't put my thought at ease as you will understand shortly. But that night was important. It changed a lot about my thoughts about a particularly hatable personage in my odd family.

I was watching from the corner of a room as a little baby, sitting in a highchair was being spoon fed. I thought it was the child's mother but that was very far from the truth.

I noticed something about the child, something on his arm. It was a birth mark that all of the O'Conner's had. It was  a little mark above our belly buttons. I never really thought about it because I really never saw my belly button but I had it to.

The little baby was naked and giggling, mashing its fists in food that sat in front of it. I smiled at the sight until the person feeding the child turned around.

Some one had walked into the room and came to kiss and greet the unknown woman and as she turned and locked lips with this new addition to the situation, I noticed that the female was Karrie. She was dressed in all black and had her hair pulled back in a low pony tail.

I didn't really know what to think because I never knew Karrie as the nurturing type. Now, she had what seemed like a boyfriend, who was in a suit, and a kid. But I shortly decided that the child was Kalvin and he was in custody of Karrie.

If I had thought of it, I would have assumed that the kid went to Kathy or stayed with my mother but I hadn't really worked out little details in my head.

Karrie picked up the slobbery, food covered child and rubbed her nose against his and smiled making silly noises. The dream brought joy to me but also baffled me. My sister hated me as a baby and wanted me to not exist and now she was Eskimo kissing and laughing with a dirty, drooly baby.

The dream changed before I could observe any more.

I was now in a tent. The air was hot and thick with the stench of sweat. I was watching myself and I was laying on a cot, wrapped in a dirt covered blanket. Some one walked into the tent and I quickly realized that it was Damian.

He walked in and knelt down by older me. I was asleep and snoring peacefully. He woke me by kissing me on the mouth and running his fingers through my long hair. My green eyes fluttered open and I was then aware and kissing the boy back.

We looked cute together, both dirty and cut up, but we looked cute.

The dream changed shortly.

I was sitting by a fire and was holding hands with some one. I watched as older me turned her head and smashed her lips into a bruised bloody boy. But this boy had dark curly hair; Damian had sandy blonde short hair.

I watched my self pull away and saw Rickey staring older me in the eyes. My jaw dropped as I watched older me rest her head on Rickey's shoulder.

I felt like the air had been yanked out of my lungs. The sight I beheld baffled me. Why was dream me kissing dream Rickey?

So my dream shifted to black and before I knew it, my eyes fluttered open.

I was in a cold sweat and didn't know how to process what I had just seen. I got why I was kissing Damian, I liked him now. But Rickey? I mean, he was like my brother. And at the word brother, I shuddered.

I was so messed up from seeing what I believed was my baby brother. And I was so confused about why he was with Karrie. Karrie wasn't the caring type. She was the kind of girl who had no girl friends, only dated shady boys, and hated sunshine.

Now, she was playing with a dirty baby, she hated when I was all messy, and had a nice boyfriend. I sat up thinking all night.

****

I snapped out of my realm of thought when some one walked through my door. I really hated when people walked in my room. But I considered being nice when I saw James come through. He sat on the edge of my bed and sighed heavily.

"What is it?" I said unhappily. "Why does it always have to be something?" He asked. "Why? You came in my room and sat on my bed sighing. How in the world is there not something going on?" I was not wanting to hear what he said because I knew that I wasn't going to like it.

"Well, now that you mention it, you have to go see a therapist today..." He said it in a manner that seemed like I was probably going to murder the shrink but he also left room for if something was happening at this event.

He continued, and I really wish he didn't," And it is a group thing. Like all the kids between the ages ten and twelve are all going to be in one big therapist session." My response was," Ewww...." But I got up and went to take a shower.

I thought that if I would have to sit in this, I would want to be clean. So I showered and got changed and then walked out into the common room. James was there to direct me to a conference room. I thought that it was odd to do this in a conference room but so much weird crap happened that I really had no preference about what would happen.

But I walked in and I saw five people.

First to catch my eyes was my dad. Then I noticed who the present shrink was, Natalie Freedmon. That worried me, But the next people worried me more. There was standing Karrie, the guy from the dream that Karrie was kissing, and a boy who looked so much like Keeven that it horrified.

"Hi baby!" Karrie said happily. She smiled down at the little boy and said," Hey cutie, meet your big sissy, Kat. Katrina, this is Kalvin!"