IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 35- No, I'm Not Okay

I pulled myself off the floor and wiped the tears off my cheeks. I felt the words Xander spoke sink in as time passed. I only stood, gently shaking, affront the mirror contemplating what had just happened. My body ached with a dull pain and my mind was troubled beyond measure.

I heard foot steps and pulled myself together enough to walk out and go find Rickey. I understood, from all my dreams, that Damian was capable of so much but I didn't know that it was to this extent. Now I was horrified.

My stomach was sour and my head ached with a different pain. This was not a just got hit in the head pain or an I have the flu pain, but instead this was a pain from knowing things. Knowledge was doing this.

I remember hearing somewhere that knowledge could be a burden and I have one thing to say about that; that's an understatement.

I found Rickey on the couch just staring out the big glass window. Rain was now coming from the sky in grey sheets. I could hear the thudding of each drip against the thick pane of glass. Rickey seemed distance, sucked deep into thought.

"Hey," I said snapping my fingers in front of his blank face. He blinked several times and shook his head coming back to a state of reality. "You okay there?" I asked sarcastically. "Actually," He began," No I'm okay."

The statement didn't shock me. I mean, we lived in an asylum, came from broken homes, and were here under observation for being suspected of being threats to the entire world. Nothing was ever truly okay with either of us.

"What's up?" I stared into his bright green eyes. They were normally full of life and excitement but now they had a grimness and fear to them. "Zyler told me something," I sighed loudly before he could continue. "So, you got the message too?" I asked in sudden realization.

"What do you mean?" Rickey asked surprised. "Zyler talked to you and told you that Damian is capable of destroying the world with no issue because not even I can stop him if he really puts his mind to it." Rickey's face seemed relieved.

"Yeah, your boyfriend is going to ruin the world unless we do something," He said jokingly. "One, not my boyfriend. Two, He wont destroy the world because we wont let that happen. And three, we have to do something more than just something. He is prepared for murder and massacre. This might need a bit more than just something."

Rickey looked in agreement with my statement. As usual, we now sat in silence for a while.

I kept tracing through each individual word that Xander told me. So much made sense. I knew that her would spill some blood and I knew that he was threat all by himself and with help that he could be capable of so much that not even I could comprehend it.

But some things didn't add up. The boy I knew now was sweet and joking. He was funny and fun loving. Sure, he was in juvenile detention but he wasn't a bad person and you could see it in his eyes. I was troubled most because I couldn't read him mind. I didn't want to read his mind. But if I was able to see the world from his eyes, from his point of view, I would know if he was really capable of total destruction of the world.

Rickey and I were pulled into our thoughts so we sat staring blankly out the window. But I was interrupted by a hand on my shoulder. It was no one serious but some one here to speak to me about something very serious.

It was Lillian. She was pale and looked more worried than ever. After I had turned to look at her she grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of seat. She dragged me to the window by the rooms that was in a nook behind a wall.

I opened my mouth to speak but she got the first word in. "Shut up. And I know you didn't say anything yet, but I don't want a sarcastic comment. Just read my mind and then go figure out what all of this means."

"Hold on, what is it about?" I asked. "Shut up and read," She replied seeming frantic and scared. I stopped asking questions and just read what she was thinking but it was different this time. Normally, I see a memory or something in that sense but this time, I watched the words of her train of thought flow out in front of me.

I was shocked by what she thought:

I know this seems weird but I heard something and I am not sure what it meant. So I was sitting in my room and listening to the gossip from the nurses station. Usually it is who slept with who and whats the food like in the cafeteria but today I heard two doctors talking instead.

I was kinda' freaking out at first because I was thinking that I would hear diagnoses for like patients or something cool and private like that but what I got was so much more shocking that even thinking about it makes me like totally freaked out.

While I read that my only thought was, Please get on with it before I slap you, Lilly. I don't know if that was necessarily a mean thought but you cant tell me that you weren't thinking the same thing.

So these guys were speaking in quiet voices but I could make out some of what they were saying. One said something about ESI and how the kids know about it and that that could be dangerous. Then the other said that nothing could happen if they knew about the Investigation. So I was wondering what the Investigation was but then they said something even weirder.

The first guy said something about leaving the project dormant for a while until they can get some improvements set up. So the other said that they could talk about it today in a meeting and then they both walked away.

Any thoughts?

My eyes got wide as I realized something very important to solving most of my problems.I said thank you to Lilly and took off running. A nurse tried to chase me but I was to fast.

I busted into a conference room and screamed. "Shut it down now or you all die!"