IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Chapter 55- Black Against White

*** four weeks after the dreams came back****
I sat alone in my room, contemplating that address. 427 Water Street. I didn't know it and Xander wouldn't give off any hints. I was going mad, spending hours in my room, thinking about how I would know that date and why a mysterious 'she' was there.

I put my hands on the side of my face, discouraged and confused. I hadn't worked up the nerve to go ask Rickey or any one else who might have a clue. I wanted to find this out on my own.

427 Water Street.

Nothing came to mind when I repeated yet it nagged and nagged as of I should know the address. But how? Xander seemed stumped but he wouldn't tell me anything. It was like he was internet explorer and kept restricting google when I asked the question.

Rickey and I never lost that feeling in the weeks that followed the arrival of our dreams. I had refrained from telling him about 427 Water Street.

Walking out of my room was one of the biggest mistakes I made that day. My mind was beyond troubled and being frustrated and confused never leads anywhere good.

"Hey Katrina?" I heard and all to familiar snide voice hiss. "What Hally?" I responded impatiently. "The guy from the program with the juvi kids wanted me to tell you that your boyfriend won't be hear today." She said.

"Not my boyfriend," I said walking away. I only heard a rude laugh from behind before stopping and turning. "He isn't my boyfriend," I said gritting my teeth.

"He is one of them!" Hally said taking a step towards me. "What's that supposed to mean!" I yelled. "Oh Rickey, you're my best friend. Oh Damian, you're the greatest." She said in a mimicking tone.

"First off, I don't talk like that. And second, neither of them are my boyfriends!" I yelled back. "You are a verbal whore going back and fourth. Boy to boy," Hally said taking another step towards me.

"Who are you to judge me! You are a cutter that the cops pulled off the streets! So what in this screwed up world give you any right to judge me!?!" I was screaming now. Hally came at me, fist clenched and a flame of anger ablaze in her eyes.

I was ready. Xander was even ready. As opposed to violence as he is, self defense is where he gives in. But as ready as I was to take on Hally, a guard was pulling Hally back before I could blink.

I guess it was good that they held her back because I know what I said really struck a nerve. I can say that I regret everything I said. I knew that she was living in a rally bad situation and knew the pain she went through but I didn't know, at that age, what she meant when she talked about Rickey and Damian.

I think everything got to me. Everything had been so peaceful and now everything was just... Not peaceful. It is almost impossible to describe how messed up everything felt against the peace that was felt in those three years. It was like dark against light. It was like black against white.

But I guess you are asking why that was one of the biggest mistakes I made that day. That sparked something. That's how everything began. It was a spark that happened to land on the fuse of a bomb. A metaphorical bomb but a bomb none the less.

Well Katrina, what other stupid, bomb lighting things did you do that day? Well my friend, I decided to ask questions.

Once being pulled away from my confrontation with Hally, I was taken to a shrink. My favorite thing about those three years was the fact that no doctors came anywhere near me. No dreams, no crazy events means no freak outs and no reason to be evaluated by some stupid doctor.

But some genius nurse decided that I should go see a shrink. And guess what?!? It was the woman that I spoke to during the terrible four years that... Well you know.

But that appointment didn't last long, so much so that I don't even remember her name. She still wore that awful red lipstick and was as annoying as she was forever ago. I told her I was fine and left before she could say anything more. I wasn't interested in being interrogated.

I swear she was contemplating calling security when I told her I was okay and that I was leaving. But I left before she could do anything and I think I scared her, too.

My decision to just leave was stupid, though. Of coarse, James was gone, so I didn't have a guard that would be nice to me. I got restrained and taken to my room. But then my last mistake I made was closing my eyes.

Closing my eyes lead to events that I could've prevented if only I hadn't close my eyes.

If only.