Almost Broken: Carl Grimes fanfic

Chapter 27

.

.

-Carl's POV-

.

.

I watch Rylie lean against a tree and close her eyes and I take this time to sit next to her and be alone with her for once.

"Are you tired?" I ask as I sit down, her only glancing at me slightly then closing her eyes again. I'm worried about her, I still get that protective feeling over her. She reminds me of someone and I can't put my finger on who, but I don't want anything to happen to her.

"No Carl I'm perfectly awake." She mumbles and I hear the ridiculous sarcasm in her voice.

"No need for attitude, I'm tired too. I just wanted to know if we needed to stop or not." I say and shrug. Honestly, I could use a break from all this moving from place to place but I could never bring it up to my dad alone unless someone else felt the same way.

"Even if we stop, we don't really Stop, we never do. We never stop being scared for our lives every second of everyday."

She's right. She's almost always right and this time it hits me how right she was. We are never going to stop running from something. It doesn't matter what; from people, from walkers, everything. She's scared and I can tell- hell I'm scared too. It'd be a lie if I said I wasn't. I can even see the fear in Daryl's eyes too, and Michonne's, and even my dads eyes. But most of all, I can see from Rylie that she's scared for her own life, she even said that she doesn't want to live it either...

"Ry? A couple days ago back at the cabin... What did you mean when you said all our lives would be better if you were bit?"

"Carl out of everything that's just happened in the past few days you choose to ask me that?" I see that she sits up and I move to do the same, wanting to see the emotion on her face so I know what she's feeling. When she looks at me, she's an open book. I can tell what she's feeling just by looking at her body language and facial expression, and right now she seems frustrated, which I don't blame her. I ignore her question and push further into mine.

"Do you really think that it'd be better if you were dead?" She can't possibly believe that. Maybe before I had ever met her it wouldn't have mattered but now that I have, Rylie is a part of my life, there's no way in hell that I could've possibly been able to Ben be near okay if she had been bit.

"You know better than anyone that a shit ton of things happened that day." She snaps at me.

"I know Rylie but I just want to know why you said it? What in the hell was going through your mind when you said that to me and why you thought it was true?"

"Carl I can't fucking think about that! That day, a whole lot of shit happened. Hallie told me she's pregnant, then-"

"Hallie's pregnant?" My voice cracks... I can't believe that she.... She hid it from everyone.. What if she ends up like my mom? I can't imagine how Hallie is feeling.

"Yes she's fucking pregnant. And then that herd came through and I lost my sister! I lost my sister probably for good this time! You don't even know how that fucking feels!"

Did she just fucking say that to me? Did she really forget about Judith?! I think about her every damn day, how the hell did Rylie just fucking say that to me?!

I talk myself out of yelling and screaming at her but instead I do something I think would be more effective; whisper.

"More than you could understand." I whisper and wait for her expression to change before I walk away.