Almost Broken: Carl Grimes fanfic

Epilogue

Rylie Parker was the most stubborn, strong willed, bitchiest person I had ever met. She was also the sweetest, kindest, most caring, most beautiful person I have and ever will meet again.

After that day 3 months ago, my life had shattered. I layed there with her feeble body for an hour before picking her up and bringing her back to the farm. (Me with a tear streamed face the whole time of course.)
That was the first time I'd ever seen Daryl cry. It was the first time that I didn't want to talk to Michonne about it. It was the first time my dad was speechless. It was the first time I had actually wanted to die.
But something kept me stuck on the ground. It might've been Judith, it might've been my self conscious reminding me what my mom told me before she died. It might've been a lot of things, but staying her for Rylie's sake wasn't one.
3 months since she died. Judith is finally walking. I was going through Rylie's things and found the little bear she had grabbed for Judith a long time back when we found each other. Judith carries it around like it's her pet that she'd never want to lose. Sometimes I think it's because she knows it was from Rylie, but I have to convince myself that Judith won't remember her.

We're finally on our way to terminus like we'd planned a while ago. It's my dad, Michonne, Daryl, Tyreese, Carol, Judith and I. Something about terminus doesn't feel right but I go along with it, walking on the tracks the same as the rest of us.

"Hey kid." Daryl nudges my arm. I look up at him and try to smile.
"You've been real quiet these past few days. Somethin' wrong?" He asks. I shake my head no, but then answer differently.
"I miss her.. A lot." He let out a shaky breath. Daryl looks down at his feet while still walking.
"I know. I do too... Hell, she made an impact on all of us in the short time we knew her. It'd be a damn mistake if you didn't miss her." He mumbles but his words don't seem to help.
"It hurts Daryl." My voice cracks but I try not to let tears go down my face.
"It's gonna hurt for a while. Ain't nothin' we can do bout it but move on and hope she's in a better place." He shrugs.
"Since when did you start believing in 'better places'?" I ask him.
"Since I lost Beth. Since Hallie died and since Rylie told me that she did." He mumbles.
"She always had so much faith in things that didn't seem possible." I chuckle at the memories and shake my head.
"It's what kept her goin I guess. Ain't nothin' wrong with havin a lil faith like she did." He looks down and grins at me.
"She loved you, ya know that right?" He says and my heart sinks. "I could see it in the way she looked at you and I used to think someone as young as you two could never love someone like that but she did. She continued to prove me wrong about everything, even now." He says.
"Thank you Daryl." I nod and he nods back, not saying anything but just walking ahead of me now.

Rylie wasn't the best at giving advice but when she believed in something, good god she would go out of her way to convince you. So stubborn.
I remember the way she held Judith back at the prison. A memory so small but so big that it makes me think of the future that Rylie won't ever have. Even though she claimed she wasn't good with kids, the way she interacted with Judith told me that she obviously was. I smile at the memory of her being so shy and awkward when she was taking a shower at the prison... The way she was so confident in herself when she left us all. She'll never know this, but I watched her walk out those prison gates and at that moment, I realized that I never wanted to lose her. But it was also that moment that I thought I had. Little did I know back then that it wouldn't be the first nor the last time that I lost her. Her dumb sense of humor would always put a smile on my face but I can honestly say that her smile was and forever will be the sun the moon and the stars of my life. No matter what I go through, I promised myself that I'd never forget a smile like that because people like her are only once in a lifetime kind of people and I just so happened to lose mine. As Rylie had said about Hallie, reigns true for me too. It hurts to think of never hugging her again, never being able to laugh with her, play around, or see her smile even just once more. It felt like she was gone within seconds. Like a truck hit me on the highway and with a clap of the hand, *clap* she's gone. I guess that's just the way thins happen now. You can never expect anything to happen or prepare for it. No matter what goes on before or how happy you could've been just moments before; you can lose that perfect moment in 3 seconds. It felt like I lost Rylie in 3 seconds.
She was amazing. She was so beautiful and never failed to keep going through everything- her sass, her smarts, looks, and most of all her strength. I remember the moments she told me she was broken but... Really, she was perfectly put together. She had her flaws, yeah, but Rylen Danielle Parker was the most put together person had, and will ever meet. Comparing myself to her isn't going to get me anywhere, but I think of her and then look at me, and I realized how I need the thought of her to fill in my missing pieces like a fallen vase that needs the glue... And I realize that I am broken...
Almost.