Creepypasta OCs Advice + Reviews

(3rd review) My'my Colins

Third review, here we go! Made by Sunny_hudson ❤️Go check out their other works!

Name: My'my Colins
Nice name, can you explain the origin of the first name though? The apostrophe in the name, does that make it French? How exactly is it pronounced? If it's just pronounced "MyMy" then there's no need for an apostrophe without origin explanation. Other than that, I like it!

Killer name:Watch dog
Hopefully there's a good explanation for this, it's pretty dang good! Kind of reminds me of Smile Dog, but it's still good.

Age: at this time they are 29
Thank god, they're not a teen. Amazing job here.

Gender: female
Alright.

Sexuality: Asexual
YESSS REPRESENT

Species: Human
Nothing wrong here.

Race: African American
Not another white girl, again, represent! Literally the only black OC I've ever seen.

Personality:
-obnoxious
-Clever(Not at math but at making plans to kill the victim)
-Charming(but only of course to make the victim trust them)
Listed personalities are never really a good sign, and this personality is super short. Please add on to this, I don't really get anything from it. It makes sense, but please add on a lot.

Aperence:
-steel toe boots
-black long sleeved shirt, dark purple vest
-black running pants
-black curly hair
-brown eyes
Again, very short. What are running pants though? And when you say vest, do you mean a fancy suit vest, puffy winter vest, or just...a casual zip up vest? Short sleeves or no sleeves? Plus, you don't mention her, well, appearance here. You added the hair and eyes when I asked you to, after I got the form in, but it shouldn't needed to be asked, sorry. Add more detail though, what is her skin like, what presence does she give off, and everything else? More detail would be much appreciated, but this isn't too bad. Makes sense for a killer!

Friends: N/A(I don't like the idea of murderers living in the same house aren't they going to kill each other?)
Good, good, logical too! Friends don't necessarily need to be living in the same house but this still makes sense.

Story: My'my was raised in the ghetto she would hang out with the street dogs she didn't  have an father so she had to depend on her mother but her mother was really sick so she had to fend for herself she started hanging out with the wrong crowd doing dirty work for money My'my was chosen for a job to stalk an rich girl but when done to kill her My'my being money hungry didn't realize the cameras all over the residence of her victim the father of the rich girl sent the footage of My'my every night standing outside or sitting in a nearby tree to a mental hospital she spent 8 years there untill her old comrads came to break her out My'my has gone insane of her small sell and being around such wired people when broken out she went back to her old life
(This was really bad)
...ok I have several points to touch on and break down here. Paragraphs unite!
First, no need to say it's bad. It's not! Everyone can improve and this has many points I like.
Second, it's difficult to read because it has no punctuation at all, it's a clumped and rushed sentence. Please add at least a few periods in, fix up the punctuation big time to make it easy to read. Thank you! I understand if English isn't your first language but add punctuation if it is.
Now for the actual analysis, I like how she was raised in the ghetto, it's new from the other things I've read. Though, where's her father? Explain what happened to him, along with maybe what My'my's mother is sick with, it'll add more depth. It's really understandable how she hangs out with the "wrong crowd" though, it makes sense considering she has no true guidance. But please explain more about how she got chosen to stalk this girl, no one realistically just gets told to stalk and kill someone. Why My'my? What was the point of killing her after? Why even stalk her in the first place? How did she become gullible enough to agree, was it her money hunger or her new bad friends, or both?
Oh and another thing that bugs me, you can't just randomly be admitted to a mental hospital. This footage would do nothing except get you in jail. Mental hospitals cost a lot of money, and only legal guardians can admit her, so this is actually not possible, sorry. Now, this may unintentionally come off as rude, but even if you try and say that her mom helped admit her or this rich guy had the power and money, it doesn't change the fact that that's not how mental hospitals work. Psychiatric hospitals are for patients with mental health problems, and these patients may admit themselves if they are 18+ (I think) or an emancipated minor but otherwise they must be admitted by a guardian. Even if you pass this step, you must be referred to psychiatric hospitals and it takes quite a while to get it. You can't just randomly get admitted someday. In the case with My'my, she would be in jail. Not a mental hospital. And again, if you try and say that she got in for (so and so reasons), she still wouldn't be in there for eight freaking years. Overall, this just isn't possible.
You also can't just "go insane", please not that trope, anything but that. Mental hospitals have rooms, not cells (unless this is in like...the 1800s) first of all, and you can't just get broken out one day. This really doesn't make sense, at least to me, and in no way am I trying to diss you or be rude, I'm being as honest as  can.
Overall: I honestly liked a lot of aspects of this, you included some great points. You didn't make your OC white, and I think that's actually the first I've ever seen. My'my's clothes are reasonable and I liked her being near middle-aged. There are some things that could be touched up though, such as mentioning her actual appearance, her life a CP, explain her CP name, and detail a lot more about My'my. Details are key, and lack of them can end up killing better than the actual OC in some cases. Add details, explanations, and fix up the backstory and personality a bit if you can. Do some research and detail about psychiatric hospitals and insanity before implementing it into your OC's backstory. Try to put a little bit more effort into your form as well. Other than lack of details, My'my has some great aspects! Maybe try roleplaying with My'my to get more of a feel for her to help you define and describe her better.
Thanks for reading, sorry for being a day off schedule as well. Have a good day/night though, bye.